Ephemeris of Miscellany

French mathematician and astronomer, Pierre-Simon Laplace, left us on this day in 1827. He had one of the greatest quotes in the history of science. Napoleon like to catch people off guard and when he met with Laplace he said, "M. Laplace, they tell me you have written this large book on the system of the universe, and have never even mentioned its creator." Laplace responded, "I had no need of that hypothesis." Simple perfection! Word has it that Napoleon was amused. ... In my experience, moments of great clarity have come immediately after moments of extreme physical exhaustion.   I left racquetball tonight with a face that looked like a boiled lobster that had only ever eaten boiled lobsters. The Japanese flag could have served as an accurate self portrait. It was so red that if it were any redder only hummingbirds could have seen it. So red that Joseph McCarthy would have hauled it before a Senate panel. You get the point. People were looking; I didn't mind....

We have to prize electability over enthusiasm. I know what that sounds like... that sounds like I'm down on Bernie. I'm not! I love the guy. I've always loved him. I love his guts. I love him like Trump loves Kim Jong Un. I love him like Johnny Cash loved June Carter. Alright, that's too much. Way too much. There's enthusiasm for Bernie, but that enthusiasm is measurable now that we have a lot of primary vote data. Does it make him more electable? If so, the enthusiasm will have translated into support, i.e. electability. Bernie seems like he beats Trump in nationwide polls, but remember what Mr. Natural said to Flakey Foont when asked, "What does it all mean?" Mr. Natural- "Don't mean sheeit." The polls in the battleground states show Bernie and Biden both beating Trump, but Biden beating him by a wider margin, i.e. data shows Biden has an edge to win the presidency. That is data we can't ignore.  Thought Experiment- imagine there were o...

Jean Harlow joined us on this day in 1911,  ... On this day in 1934, John Dillinger pulled off a daring escape out of Crown Point jail using a gun carved out of wood. He had blackened it with shoe polish and carved "Colt 45" on the side. Some say it was smuggled into the jail in hollowed out bible. It sold at auction in 2010 for $19,000. Question to witness (hostage): Would you say he was jolly? Answer: Yes, he sang for us part of the way. Question: What did he sing? Answer (smiling): Get along little dog, get along. Laughter from the crowd. https://youtu.be/8eSLQiuBDEs *It was my grandma's first birthday. ... Good time tonight. Emma's mom- I don't think that we should let anybody in, for asylum or anything. Emma- Well you would have been the reason all those Jews would have died then. March 3, 2024 ... I got a real laugh out of the credits of the fake trailer Gretel made... Beneath the Farting Skies, directed by John Ford, haha. Executive produced by our leopard ...

On this day in 1978, Charlie Chaplin's coffin was stolen from his grave in Corsier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland. And yes, with him in it.  Police initially thought it was done by obsessive fans trying to fulfill his wish to be buried in England, but then two Eastern European immigrants who were desperate for money, demanded $600,000 for its return. (If you can believe it, others pretended to have his body and asked for money too, so the actual body snatchers had to provide a picture in order to prove their depravity.) Chaplin's wife Oona negotiated with them, but only to allow the police to trace their calls. They were arrested 76 days after their theft. They had buried the coffin in a cornfield in the meantime, presumably because they didn't want to hang out with him in their living room. That gives me a movie idea, instead of Weekend At Bernie's, how about Months With Charlie?  Guess what though, those knuckleheads forgot where exactly they buried him. Police eventually loc...

The Castle Bravo test took place on this day in 1954. A 15-megaton hydrogen bomb was detonated on Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean, resulting in the worst radioactive contamination ever caused by the United States. ... I'm going to play a State of the Union drinking game. For every clap, I'm going to drink one molecule of wine. By my calculations, eight quadrillion claps will equal about one glass. March 1, 2022 ... I really like Pete... rightly or wrongly, I saw him as a Bernie/Warren politician who put electability over pronounced ideology. It's like this, Obama can't RUN on gay marriage in 2008 but come on, he supports it. I liked his pragmatism, and his takes on things often felt new and refreshing. I did not like his straw man attacks on Bernie at the last debate, but who am I to speak ill of the dead? And can say I was totally gay for his ability to boil down complex ideas into a perfect paragraph? I think he'll be president one day... 10 more election cycles...

On leap day in 1504, Christopher Columbus used his knowledge of a lunar eclipse that night to convince Jamaican natives to provide him with supplies. ... On Leap Year, we should scrap February 29th and create October 32nd, or Second Halloween. It would be more fun and still keep the cosmos equally balanced. February 29, 2024 ... Hattie McDaniel became the first African American to win an Academy Award on leap day in 1940, for her performance as Mammy in Gone with the Wind. ... Joe Biden won the South Carolina primary election on leap day in 2020, giving him the momentum he needed to go on to secure the nomination. ... Baseball player and manager, Dickey Pearce, was born on leap day in 1836. Dickey Pearce. ... Other notable birthdays- William Wellman (1896), Dee Brown (1908) ... Quite a day for serial killer birthdays. Aileen Wuornos was born on Leap Day in 1956, and then Richard Ramirez in 1960. ... Notable deathdays-  Pat Garrett (1908), Melvin Purvis (1960), Davy Jones (2012) ......