Totoro Tree Tops, and Supernovas

I bet you don't have a small Totoro at the top of your tree wearing an Idaho potato shirt.

December 14, 2022

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We got a new cat- Mr. Gray Gray. It dawned on me that we don't know his first name.

December 14, 2020

Postscript- He didn't last long.

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Merry Yodamas!

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Is it normal for jurors to coordinate with the accused? Asking for a guilty person.

December 14, 2019

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My two best girls.

December 14, 2013

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On this day in 1972, Eugene Cernan was the last person to walk on the moon, after he and Harrison Schmitt complete the third and final extravehicular activity of the Apollo 17 mission. He later said,

"I knew that I had changed in the past three days and that I no longer belonged solely to the Earth. Forever more, I would belong to the universe."

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Wilma Mankiller took office on this day in 1985 as the first woman elected to serve as Chief of the Cherokee Nation.

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Tycho Brahe joined us on this day in 1546. On his supernova:

"The star was at first like Venus and Jupiter, giving pleasing effects; but as it then became like Mars, there will next come a period of wars, seditions, captivity and death of princes, and destruction of cities, together with dryness and fiery meteors in the air, pestilence, and venomous snakes. Lastly, the star became like Saturn, and there will finally come a time of want, death, imprisonment and all sorts of sad things."

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Shirley Jackson joined us on this day in 1916. She published The Witchcraft of Salem Village during the McCarthy era, and when children wrote her letters asking about its meaning, she would write back, “We have exactly the same thing to be afraid of,—the demon in men’s minds which prompts hatred and anger and fear, an irrational demon which shows a different face to every generation, but never gives up in his fight to win over the world.”

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Another short story writer, Amy Hempel, joined us on this day in 1951. One of my favorite quotes. 

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

Was it even her? Does it even matter?

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John Lurie was born on this day in 1952.

"When I was about 17 I knew that I was going to be serious about music. Before that I thought, fairly certainly, that I would be a writer. Before that, I thought I would be a forward in the NBA. And before that I thought that I would own a snake farm."

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Other notable birthdays: Lee Remick (1935), Bill Buckner (1949)

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George Washington left us on this day in 1799.

"If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

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Victor Kugler left us on this day in 1981. He allowed the Frank and Van Pels families to hide out in his secret annex during the Nazi occupation of Amsterdam. He later wrote of the experience, "I had to help them. They were my friends."

Anne Frank wrote of him in her diary:

"Kugler through the enormous responsibility for the 8 of us, which is sometimes so much for him that he can hardly speak from pent-up nerves and strain."

A true hero. We can all gauge our own courage by asking ourselves if we would have done what he did.

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Myrna Loy left us on this day in 1993.

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French New Wave icon Anna Karina left us on this day in 2019.

https://youtu.be/T9bZDKBk81g

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Other notable deathdays: Roger Maris (1985), Norman Fell (1998)

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Yahoo News- The 6 Waltons have more wealth in the bottom 30% of Americans

Interesting article. (One in four of us have more debt than assets, so if you have nothing and owe nothing you have more "wealth" than the bottom 25%.)

http://news.yahoo.com/six-waltons-more-wealth-bottom-30-americans-182819449.html

December 14, 2011

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It's a Bad Brains Christmas Charlie Brown

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r326c3DewuE

December 14, 2012

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The Onion- God Admits He Never Created Gerbils

http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-admits-he-never-created-gerbils,34782/

December 14, 2013

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The Atlantic- The Trump Infallibility Doctrine

Excellent article!

Excerpt:

Under this standard, nothing Trump does—no federal crime, no act of corruption, no attack on the institutions of American democracy—can be considered immoral or unjust, so long as he retains his core political support. Neither can other institutions—Congress, the courts, or the press—be considered legitimate if they defy Trump, the only legitimate vessel of popular will. It is a quasi-religious doctrine of infallibility, backed by the power of the federal government and the president’s allies in Congress and the media. As the president’s newly appointed faith adviser, Paula White, put it, “President Trump will overcome every strategy from hell, and every strategy of the enemy, every strategy, and he will fulfill his calling and his destiny.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/11/republicans-believe-trump-infallible/601426/

December 14, 2019

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The Onion- Things To Never Say When Explaining Death To A Child

“Ghosts and zombies have to come from somewhere.”

While good information, your child likely wasn’t asking about the origins of the kinds of monsters they have nightmares about.

https://www.theonion.com/things-to-never-say-when-explaining-death-to-a-child-1848206056

December 14, 2021

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Woody Allen- "I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

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Voltaire- "If there’s life on other planets, then the earth is the Universe’s insane asylum."

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Twain- "The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

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Kinison- "With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'"

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Greg Giraldo, on Michael Moore- "If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds."

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Joseph Heller, Catch 22- "It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character."

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Amy Hempel again- "We can only die in the future, I thought; right now we are always alive."

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Maimonides- "Anticipate charity by preventing poverty."

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Bryson- "To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect."

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Sagan- "There is a wide, yawning black infinity. In every direction, the extension is endless; the sensation of depth is overwhelming. And the darkness is immortal. Where light exists, it is pure, blazing, fierce; but light exists almost nowhere, and the blackness itself is also pure and blazing and fierce."

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Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five- "Trout, incidentally, had written a book about a money tree. It had twenty-dollar bills for leaves. Its flowers were government bonds. Its fruit was diamonds. It attracted human beings who killed each other around the roots and made very good fertilizer."

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Steven Wright:

Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Addendum

Twin Rocks of Ages

I walked into breakfast at Twin Rocks Comfort Inn near the Poconos and two ladies, possibly sisters, were seated and bowing over their food with their hands folded, silently praying. One lady had a piece of toast with jam and the other had a small muffin, both dwarfed by their Styrofoam plates. I got some orange juice, filled my coffee thermos, turned around and saw that they were still praying. It got me thinking.

Is there any limit to what level of meal people should pray for? Sure, Thanksgiving, whatever. Dinner, OK. Lunch, perhaps. A quick breakfast, really? What if a friend gives them a granola bar? No, what if a friend gives them a granola bar while they're driving and they're starving and need to use their hands? What if they're running a marathon and someone gives them water? That's sustenance, isn't it? What if they're walking down the street and a homeless person hands them a turkey leg? Do they pray over it even if they're going to throw it in a dumpster? Seems like they should since they were provided with it, doesn't it? What about Homer Simpson when that demon made him eat all those donuts? It doesn't seem like he should have had to pray for the demon to continue attempting to torture him, does it? What if a bug flies so deep into your mouth that you can't get it out? Do you pray for God to "bless this food to its intended use"? Evidently, THAT was its intended use… but that couldn't have been part of God's plan, could've it? (Don't pretend it's not food. That's good protein. I'll bet a bug even has a little B-12.) It doesn't seem like you should have to pray in that case. And if not, then you certainly shouldn't pray to God over the Comfort Inn breakfast, unless you're praying that you don't get sick.

Don't you get the feeling every once in awhile that we're living in the stone-ages, except instead of sacrificing a goat for God, now we just sacrifice a little time before we eat the goat? Hmm, that's gotta be an improvement, right? Rather than the stone-ages, maybe these are the "religion-ages." What next?

Stone-ages, rock of ages, Twin Rocks, twin sisters, soul sisters, sisters praying in comfort for their souls to the rock of ages in the Twin Rocks Comfort Inn, making me feel like I'm in the stone-ages……… no, it's me who's going crazy.

"Imagine no stone tools. It's easy if you try."

-John Lennonstone

P.S. As I made a waffle, a man walked over and said "Just like camping, isn't it?" You said it buddy… wait, no, what in the hell does that mean? This is nothing at all like camping- literally, metaphorically, or figuratively. Sarcastically, yes. I'd say it's like camping, sarcastically… in that it's not like camping at all. But why should it be? He could have just as easily grabbed a yogurt container and said, "Hey look, this is just like milk." Does he ride elevators and make conversation by saying- "This is just like stairs, ain't?" No, it's not like stairs at all. Stairs are a completely different thing. He's the type that would jump off the Empire State Building and say "Hey, just like going up to Heaven, right?"

P.S.S. Franz de Waal's book, Our Inner Ape, opened my eyes to something I could never put into words before- small talk is the human equivalent of ape grooming. It's something of very little inherent value that you do to define social relationships and show goodwill. Not a day has gone by since I read it that I haven't seen it in action and thought of it. (And now kids, you can too!) All these people talking everywhere you go, just chit-chatting away, they're the same as apes sitting around picking bugs off each other and eating them. Not that there's anything wrong with picking bugs and eating them. I suppose that's what God had in mind when he created apes. And ape bugs. Should apes pray before they eat the bugs off of the apes?

P.S.S.S. What does P.S.S. mean? Postscriptscript?