Baseball Life Lessons

Wow. Perhaps one day this guy's gravestone will just be one giant granite flip-flop. No name, no dates, everyone will just know. I mean this is the flip-flop of all flip-flops. This is the same flip-flop level as if the Enola Gay turned around and re-bombed Pearl Harbor, as if Nixon admitted being a crook, as if George W. Bush flip-flopped on John Kerry being a flip-flopper.

Trump struck down Roe v. Wade, took 100% credit for it, and now says that his administration will be "great for women and their reproductive rights." He'll veto a national abortion ban, and he'll provide IVF treatment for free. 

The subtext is audible- "What are you going to do red states, vote for Kamala???"

The subtext to the subtext is audible too, deafening actually- "Beware, my words are meaningless!"

The subtext to the subtext to the subtext is just the devil laughing.

But I get it, I get it, if you want to win the presidency, you have to be pragmatic. Anti-abortion is not a popular swing state policy, not even among Republican women.

And I know, I know, I know, Kamala is currently under a microscope for having changed some policy positions, just like every politician ever. Let's not kid ourselves though on the size of Trump's flip-flop. This is Robert Wadlow's flip-flop. 

It's just metaphysically absurd when you turn your signature issue upside down, knowing you will lose no votes, which incidentally is the same number of votes he would lose if he pragmatically shot somebody on 5th Avenue.

Washington Post- Trump, Vance Take New Tone On Abortion, Riling Some on the Right

August 30, 2024

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Henry Miller:

"The wisdom of age constitutes the ability to accept reality, which is the knowledge of certain death--substantial, personal, individual extinction. It no longer seeks to disguise the fundamental cruelty and terror of life because it is too weary for further struggle. It is not the acceptance of destiny so much, as the succumbing to it...

Old age sees behind the illusions--too weary to deny any more the ultimate truths." 

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Wow, in Pence's convention speech he ACTUALLY said, "We have to make America great again, again." I thought he either misspoke, or it was an Onion headline!

When you're the incumbent running on smashing your own status quo, you end up with this endless stream of absurdities.

August 30, 2020

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So the president is promising to keep us safe, huh? I guess just like he promised in 2016... but he took a national emergency on it's way of causing 200,000 deaths and passed the responsibility to 50 governors, refused to address the nation as racial tensions rose despite demands, threatened nuclear war with North Korea until he discovered he fell in love with Kim Jong Un, told police not to be too nice with those they arrest, holds loyalty above expertise and skill as the highest quality when hiring for the jobs that will protect us, we're banned from the rest of the world because we're too dangerous, but yeah, HE'S THE ONE TO KEEP US SAFE, HAHA.

August 30, 2020

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Margaret Cho: "And I went through this whole thing, you know. I was like: Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized I'm just slutty."

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Paths of Glory on TCM: "One way to maintain discipline is to shoot a man now and then." Somehow there are Kubrick fans who haven't seen this film.

August 30, 2013

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On this day in 1813- the Fort Mims massacre. The Creek "Red Sticks" kill over 500 settlers north of Mobile, Alabama.

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Ernest Shackleton rescued all of his men stranded on Elephant Island in Antarctica on this day in 1916.

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The 11-day The Ruby Ridge standoff ended on this day in 1992, with Randy Weaver surrendering to federal authorities. 

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One of the greatest Phillies games of all-time took place on this day in 2007. I was working that day and listening to the game on the radio. I've never heard more thrilling game. It was back and forth and back and forth and they ended up winning 10-9. 

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Journalist Molly Ivins was born on this day in 1944. I miss her. She would have come in very handy from 2016 onward.

"Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them."

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Screwball pitcher, Tug McGraw, was born on this day in 1944, but rumor has it that he might just be a screwball that came to life.

When he was asked if he preferred grass or AstroTurf- "I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf." 

"Ninety percent (of my salary) I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste."

"Ten million years from now, when then sun burns out and the Earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out."

He either stole that last one from Bill lee, or Bill Lee stole it from him, but either way I believe I thought of it myself!

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Timothy Bottoms was born on this day in 1951. I love him in The Last Picture Show. He personified this quote from the book:

"Sometimes Sonny felt like he was the only human creature in the town. It was a bad feeling, and it usually came on him in the mornings early, when the streets were completely empty, the way they were one Saturday morning in late November."

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Former Phillies outfielder, Marlon Byrd, Was born on this day in 1977. Emma used to call him Fish Fowl.

Cliff Lee was born on his first birthday, and I'll never forget his nonchalant catch in the 2009 World Series. We should all approach everything as confidently.

https://youtu.be/4tpQZM_tTk8

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Jean Seberg left us on this day in 1979. In my opinion, a vision of perfect beauty.

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Japanese samurai and warlord, Shimazu Yoshihiro, left us on this day in 1619.

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Robert Crumb joined us on this day in 1943.

I can't post what I really want to post, and maybe that comic explains why. 

Quintessential misanthropic quote in the addendum.

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Mikhail Gorbachev left us on this day in 2022. If Herzog makes a documentary on you, you've really done something.

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Mary Shelley's mother went through crate and sudden change on this day in 1797.

"Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. The sun might shine, or the clouds might lour: but nothing could appear to me as it had done the day before."

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Other notable birthdays- Ted Williams (1918), Kitty Wells (1919), Cameron Diaz (1972)

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Another notable deathday- Wes Craven (2015)

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Roger Ebert's Blog- 100 Greatest Moments from the Movies 

I had goosebumps the whole way through this list. I'm glad to see he included what is to me the greatest line in all moviedom- from Gates of Heaven, "There's your dog. Your dog's dead. But there had to be something that made it move. Doesn't there?"

Gene Kelly singin' in the rain.

Orson Welles smiling enigmatically in the doorway in "The Third Man."

https://www.rogerebert.com/features/100-great-moments-in-the-movies

August 30, 2010

More to follow.

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Mr T Experience- THE COMPLICATED HISTORY IF THE CONCEPT OF THE SOUL

Homer didn't have a comprehensive word for mind.

the psyche and the conscious self had not yet been combined.

He understood events as repetition of the past,

and individual consciousness was not a part of that.

But early Greek thought played a role in the complicate history

of the concept of the soul.1

By the time of Plato these ideas had taken shape.

The Phaedo and Timaeus are works which demonstrate

the consious separation of the knower from the known

and the dual nature of the body and the soul.

Modern thought was possible:

the complicated history of the concept of the soul.

Whoa!

Pythagoras and Orphic doctrines all came into play,

because Plato was a mystic in his own Platonic way.

The pre-Socratic Naturalists saw things in terms of "stuff".

But Plato's metaphysics showed that this was not enough.

This is the incredible complicated history of the concept of the soul.

Rock and roll.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_BiQkZSXhQ

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I'm going to dedicate this to me, from Emma. You can do that right?

Amy Winehouse- To Know Him Is to Love Him

https://youtu.be/WohZm1GsAOw

August 30, 2014

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Oliver Sacks just died. You might enjoy reading what he wrote two years ago on making it to 80.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/07/opinion/sunday/the-joy-of-old-age-no-kidding.html

Aug 30, 2015, 12:17 PM

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Oliver Sacks, Gratitude:

I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers.

Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure."

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Sacks, on music

“On my morning bike ride to Battery Park, I heard music as I approached the tip of Manhattan, and then saw and joined a silent crowd who sat gazing out to sea and listening to a young man playing Bach’s Chaconne in D on his violin. When the music ended and the crowd quietly dispersed, it was clear that the music had brought them some profound consolation, in a way that no words could ever have done.

“Music, uniquely among the arts, is both completely abstract and profoundly emotional. It has no power to represent anything particular or external, but it has a unique power to express inner states or feelings. Music can pierce the heart directly; it needs no mediation. One does not have to know anything about Dido and Aeneas to be moved by her lament for him; anyone who has ever lost someone knows what Dido is expressing. And there is, finally, a deep and mysterious paradox here, for while such music makes one experience pain and grief more intensely, it brings solace and consolation at the same time.”—Oliver Sacks

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Amy Hempel- "If it's true your life flashes past your eyes before you die, then it is also the truth that your life rushes forth when you are ready to start to truly be alive.”

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Occupy Democrats- A Judge Just Gave Trump And Arpaio Bad News About Pardon

Let me guess why he was pardoned...because the president likes him. From the article:

"The state of Arizona will have their own chance to argue why Arpaio should not be pardoned, allowing them to publicly, and in great detail, list the full extent of the heinous crimes and misdeeds of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, which include running what he refers to as a concentration camp, torturing his inmates, forcing a woman to give birth in shackles, and refusing to investigate sex crimes against Latina children."

http://occupydemocrats.com/2017/08/30/judge-just-gave-trump-arpaio-bad-news-pardon/

August 30, 2017

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Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov:

"Above all, avoid lies, all lies, especially the lie to yourself. And avoid fear, though fear is simply the consequence of every lie."

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Unsolicited Parenting Advice

1. When you have a newborn baby and you're listening to it breathe, and it stopped breathing for like 6-8 seconds... don't worry, it's somehow totally normal! 

2. Look up "How to Calm a Crying Baby- Dr. Robert Hamilton" on YouTube.

3. They won't listen to everything you say, which is great, because you don't want a little Nazi do you???

4. Although they won't listen to everything you say, they will absolutely follow your example. What you do is everything compared to what you say.

5. Anything you screw up will just make them interesting, so what is there to worry about?

6. If something feels unnatural it probably is.

7. Don't be afraid to slap them around a little bit. Sorry, got that wrong. I meant, don't be surprised that you want to slap them around a little bit sometimes. Nobody in your life will have deserved it more. But for God's sake, get ahold of yourself!

8. Of course you want a streetwise kid, but don't neglect the book-learnin'.

9. Be sure they get enough sleep, dumbass.

10. Don't teach them what to think. Teach them how to think 

11. Don't lie... maybe? Definitely mostly. "Some people don't believe in a tooth fairy. What do you think?" OK, feel free to lie, especially if it makes your life easier, but only if there's no possible way they could find out. If they can't find out, the light has no victim.

12. Record a lot of video, if for no other reason than they will love watching it

13. Ignore most solicited advice and all unsolicited advice.

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Carrie Fisher flirting with Harrison Ford on the set of The Empire Strikes Back.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7TKPdW7mib5n6qC4

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Sacks yet again- "My religion is nature. That’s what arouses those feelings of wonder and mysticism and gratitude in me."

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John Mulaney- "Donald Trump's not good at running for president. He's just good at Family Feud. So, when the Steve Harvey of this election is like, 'Name something that is bothering Americans!' And Ted Cruz is like, 'Benghazi!' WRONG! Then Trump is like, 'All the problems.' And that's the number one answer on the board."

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Tug McGraw- "Ya Gotta Believe!" It really it's strange that there are things that happen when you believe them, seemingly because you believe them. Mostly in sports, and it's really just a misconception between what you think is impossible and what is actually possible. The other day playing racquetball there was a ball that was so far away from me I couldn't possibly get it. In fact I didn't think I could get it. But I made myself believe I could, and then it slowly became more and more possible until I actually got it. I still can't believe I got it. And I only got it because I believed. Don't think that this lesson is more applicable than it is though.

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H. P. Lovecraft- "Contrary to what you may assume, I am not a pessimist but an indifferentist- that is, I don't make the mistake of thinking that the... cosmos... gives a damn one way or the other about the especial wants and ultimate welfare of mosquitoes, rats, lice, dogs, men, horses, pterodactyls, trees, fungi, dodos, or other forms of biological energy."

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Howard Zinn, You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times:

I am convinced that imprisonment is a way of pretending to solve the problem of crime. It does nothing for the victims of crime, but perpetuates the idea of retribution, thus maintaining the endless cycle of violence in our culture. It is a cruel and useless substitute for the elimination of those conditions--poverty, unemployment, homelessness, desperation, racism, greed--which are at the root of most punished crime. The crimes of the rich and powerful go mostly unpunished.

It must surely be a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit that even a small number of those men and women in the hell of the prison system survive it and hold on to their humanity.

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Stephen Fry- "Oscar Wilde said that if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it - that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing - an actor, a writer - I am a person who does things - I write, I act - and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun."

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Truman Capote, Truman Capote: Conversations- "To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the music the words make."

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William Least Heat-Moon, Blue Highways- "Memory is each man's own last measure, and for some, the only achievement."

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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe- "There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action."

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William James- "The moral flabbiness born of the exclusive worship of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That - with the squalid cash interpretation put on the word 'success' - is our national disease."

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Neil Simon, The Play Goes On- "I find that the writing of a memoir has two functions. One is to pass on, as much as you’re willing to tell, the fact’s and deeds of your life to those who might be at all interested. The other function is to discover a truth about yourself that you never had either the time or the courage to face before. You will never investigate yourself as vehemently as you do when you put one word after another, one thought after another, one revelation after another, in the pages that make up your memoirs, and you will suddenly realize the person you are instead of the person you thought you were. To force memory is to open yourself up to that which you have chosen to forget. It’s your RASHOMON. You begin to see all the different sides of your own story."

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God I hate this limerick! Every time I read it I feel like I could throw up, no exaggeration.

There once was a midget named Carr

Who couldn't reach up to the bar,

So in every saloon

He climbed a spittoon, 

And guzzled his liquor from that.

Addendum:

1.

R Crumb

I’m such a negative person, and always have been. Was I born that way? I don’t know. I am constantly disgusted by reality, horrified and afraid. I cling desperately to the few things that give me some solace, that make me feel good.

I hate most of humanity. Though I might be very fond of particular individuals, humanity in general fills me with contempt and despair. I hate most of what passes for civilization. I hate the modern world. For one thing there are just too Goddamn many people. I hate the hordes, the crowds in their vast cities, with all their hateful vehicles, their noise and their constant meaningless comings and goings. I hate cars. I hate modern architecture. Every building built after 1955 should be torn down!

I despise modern music. Words cannot express how much it gets on my nerves – the false, pretentious, smug assertiveness of it. I hate business, having to deal with money. Money is one of the most hateful inventions of the human race. I hate the commodity culture, in which everything is bought and sold. No stone is left unturned. I hate the mass media, and how passively people suck up to it.

I hate having to get up in the morning and face another day of this insanity. I hate having to eat, shit, maintain the body – I hate my body. The thought of my internal functions, the organs, digestion, the brain, the nervous system, horrify me.

Nature is horrible. It’s not cute and loveable. It’s kill or be killed. It’s very dangerous out there. The natural world is filled with scary, murderous creatures and forces. I hate the whole way that nature functions. Sex is especially hateful and horrifying, the male penetrating the female, his dick goes into her hole, she’s impregnated, another being grows inside her, and then she must go through a painful ordeal as the new being pushes out of her, only to repeat the whole process in time.

Reproduction – what could be more existentially repulsive?

How I hate the courting ritual. I was always repelled by my own sex drive, which in my youth never left me alone. I was constantly driven by frustrated desires to do bizarre and unacceptable things with and to women. My soul was in constant conflict about it. I never was able to resolve it.

Old age is the only relief.

I hate the way the human psyche works, the way we are traumatized and stupidly imprinted in early childhood and have to spend the rest of our lives trying to overcome these infantile mental fixations. And we never ever fully succeed in this endeavor.

I hate organized religions. I hate governments. It’s all a lot of power games played out by ambition-driven people, and foisted on the weak, the poor, and on children.

Most humans are bullies. Adults pick on children. Older children pick on younger children. Men bully women. The rich bully the poor. People love to dominate.

I hate the way humans worship power – one of the most disgusting of all human traits.

I hate the human tendency towards revenge and vindictiveness. I hate the way humans are constantly trying to trick and deceive one another, to swindle, to cheat, and take unfair advantage of the innocent, the naïve and the ignorant.

I hate the vacuous, false, banal conversation that goes on among people.

Sometimes I feel suffocated; I want to flee from it.

For me, to be human is, for the most part, to hate what I am. When I suddenly realize that I am one of them, I want to scream in horror.

2.

Myspace Blog

August 8, 2008

You know what I’ve been thinking about...

...the first guy who said "half past a monkey's ass, a quarter to it's balls." I'll bet his friends laughed for days. That phrase went through my head all day today... probably 200-300 times. I was even singing it. What was up with that guy who thought of it? We can all agree that he was either on drugs or 12 years old. Probably both. "He," yes "he"... I mean come on, a woman could think of that? No way. Hard to believe that he even exists in our time. "Half past a monkeys ass, a quarter to it's balls." Genius. It's like a modern day proverb.