Limericks, ChatGPT, and More Miscellany

Total solar eclipse in Fairmount, Indiana, hometown of James Dean.

Some random notes.

One of the best experiences of my life. It was like it was sunset all around, but different colors, sort of purplish. 

The sun looked like it had a laser pointer pointed at the bottom, which it turns out was part of the chromosphere. 

When the sun finally peeked out again from behind the moon, it wasn't that it was a feeling of relief exactly, but it was very nice to see the thing that truly unites of us. 

I ended up in the graveyard at the time of the eclipse. Somehow many others we're drawn there too. There were probably 30 other cars there. Normally if there's a get together in James Dean's graveyard, I know most of the people, but these were all strangers.

I was somehow motivated to walk to the graveyard instead of drive. Herzog thought that every important journey should be on foot. I think that played into my decision. And interestingly enough I was reading a book by his friend Bruce Chatwin, Songlines. It's a book about the Aboriginal Australians believing that there are paths through Australia where songs were sung that brought everything into being. I wonder what the Aboriginal Australians thought about eclipses.

Chatwin also believe that you should walk every important journey on foot. 

You could see the sunlight approaching from the southwest, you knew right when it was going to hit. And that tiny sliver that first popped out lit the whole place up. It didn't peek-through uniformly though, due to the craters of the moon.

Brian put it well, "a stunning show of meaningless coincidence," haha. 

I kind of felt like an idiot opening up my phone to find where I saved my map of the planets, like it was a total waste of several seconds. I was wondering why I didn't memorize it beforehand. That's not a normal experience, when seconds have huge significance, for several minutes on end.

Not every day that you get to see Jupiter and Venus during your day, and that's something I've done in my life. 

I've saved a friend from quicksand. I visited haunted covered bridges as this clock struck twelve. I've seen the mountain gorillas in Rwanda. I lit my friends homework on fire as the teacher was coming around to check it. And I've seen a total eclipse.

April 8, 2024

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Irvin D. Yalom, Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death- "...the more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety. The more you fail to experience your life fully, the more you will fear death."

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Lawrence Krauss, in Quillette:

"In the modern world, it is easy to forget our connection to celestial objects and how important that connection has been throughout human history."

https://quillette.com/2024/04/09/reflections-on-the-eclipse/

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A limerick to get things on track:

On the bridge stood the Bishop of Buckingham

dreaming of cocks and of sucking 'em

and watching the stunts

of the cunts on the punts

and the tricks of the pricks who were fucking 'em

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From Jean-Luc Godard's Breathless:

"What's your greatest ambition in life?"

"To become immortal and then die."

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A lot of conspiracy thinking today concerning the eclipse.

Adam Curtis- “I sometimes wonder whether conspiracy theories are an attempt to re-enchant the world in a distorted way. It’s like religion knocking on the door and trying to come back in a strange and distorted form. A sense of mystery beyond our own understanding of the world. If you ever talk to conspiracy theorists, that’s the sense you get from them. A sort of almost romantic sense of awe that there is this dark mysterious thing that a rational thing could never penetrate.”

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I was tossing and turning early this morning so I decided to get up debate ChatGPT on the existence of God. It thinks that belief in God is subjective to someone's personal experience, which is obviously true. I told it I wasn't asking about belief in existence though, I was asking about actual existence.

It did admit that the question of God's existence could not be definitively proven through evidence or proof.

I got it to agree with me that is good to have evidence for the things we believe, and then pointed out that it said there was no definitive evidence for God. I asked if it was an error to believe in God.

It said, "I apologize for any confusion earlier. What I meant to convey is that while there are various arguments and evidence presented for and against the existence of God, the question of God's existence ultimately rests on one's personal beliefs and perspectives, and it cannot be definitively answered through empirical evidence or proof."

I countered, "I don't see how existence in the real world can be a matter of subjective belief. Can you elaborate?"

I got a message that it failed to generate a response. I tried twice more and got the same message. I count that as a victory, haha.

Then I asked it to generate a couple outlines to movies that Stanley Kubrick might have made if he hadn't died. A bit formulaic, but not bad!

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Oh man, I found a new obsession. ChatGPT just became my new best friend. I said, "If Mitch Hedberg and Norm Macdonald collaborated on a joke, please speculate on what the joke would be." It spit this out immediately.

Collaborative Joke by Mitch & Norm

Speculatively, if the late comedians Mitch Hedberg and Norm Macdonald collaborated on a joke, it might go something like this:

Mitch: "I was at the airport, and I saw this guy with a shirt that said 'Life is a journey.' I was like, 'Yeah man, but couldn't you have just texted me that instead of wearing it on your chest?'"

Norm: "Yeah, life is a journey. And like any good journey, it's full of unexpected twists and turns. Like that time I went to Japan and accidentally ordered whale sushi. I mean, I didn't even know they had whales in Japan. But there it was, on my plate. And I was like, 'Well, I guess I'm gonna need a bigger soy sauce dish.'"

Mitch: "Ha! Yeah, you know what they say, Norm. Life is like a box of chocolates. Except sometimes you get the ones with nuts, and nobody likes those."

Norm: "That's right, Mitch. Life is like a game of chess. Except sometimes the pawn becomes the queen, and then you're like, 'Wait a minute, how did that happen?'"

Mitch: "Life is like a bottle of shampoo. You never know when it's gonna run out, and you always end up squeezing the bottle like it's gonna magically produce more."

Norm: "Life is like a carnival game. You keep throwing money at it, and you never win the giant stuffed animal. But you keep playing, because deep down you know that's the only thing that will fill the void in your soul."

Mitch: "Ha! You know what, Norm? Life is like a joke. Except sometimes the punchline is so unexpected, you don't even realize it's funny until ten minutes later."

Norm: "That's right, Mitch. Life is a joke. And if you can't laugh at it, you're gonna have a bad time."

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I'm becoming obsessed with ChatGPT.

Ben- If I'm going to write a screenplay, a comedy about existential dread, what should the first line be?

ChatGPT- How about: "It all started with a panic attack in the cereal aisle."

Ben- Excellent, what comes next?

ChatGPT- As the protagonist stood frozen in front of the endless row of brightly colored boxes, their heart racing and palms sweating, they couldn't help but wonder: "Is this all there is to life?"

Ben- Please continue.

ChatGPT- Suddenly, a loudspeaker announcement interrupted their thoughts: "Cleanup on Aisle 4, please." Startled out of their existential reverie, the protagonist realized they had been blocking the way for other shoppers. They awkwardly shuffled out of the way, feeling like a fraud for pretending to be a functioning member of society when deep down, they were plagued by a sense of overwhelming emptiness.

As they made their way to the checkout line, they couldn't help but notice the other shoppers around them, going about their business with a sense of purpose that the protagonist found both admirable and bewildering. How did they all seem to know what they wanted out of life? Why did they seem so content with their lot, while the protagonist felt like they were barely holding on?

With a heavy heart, the protagonist paid for their cereal and headed out into the bright sunshine, feeling more lost than ever. As they walked down the street, they couldn't help but wonder: "Is there any hope for me? Or am I doomed to wander through life feeling like I don't belong?"

Ben- Could you change that last line to a joke that keeps with the theme?

ChatGPT- Sure, how about: "As they walked down the street, they couldn't help but wonder: 'Why did the existentialist cross the road?' But then they realized that there was no inherent meaning or purpose to the joke, and they were filled with an even deeper sense of despair."

Ben- This is great stuff. Can you let me know what happens at the end, including the final shot?

ChatGPT- Of course! As the story progresses, the protagonist embarks on a series of misadventures in search of meaning and purpose. They try everything from yoga classes to psychedelic drugs to extreme sports, but nothing seems to ease their existential dread.

Just when they're about to give up hope, they have a chance encounter with a wise old janitor (played by a grizzled character actor, perhaps). The janitor shares some simple yet profound wisdom about the nature of existence, and the protagonist suddenly has a breakthrough.

In the final shot, we see the protagonist sitting on a park bench, gazing out at the world with a newfound sense of wonder and appreciation. The camera pulls back to reveal a vast, beautiful panorama of the city skyline, and we hear a whimsical, upbeat song on the soundtrack. It's clear that the protagonist has found some measure of peace and acceptance, and that life is full of endless possibilities – even if they don't always make sense.

Ben- Great! What is the last line of the film?

ChatGPT- The last line could be the protagonist's inner monologue, as they look out at the world with a newfound sense of clarity: "Maybe life is just a series of random events, and there's no grand purpose or meaning to any of it. But that doesn't mean it's not worth living." The camera lingers on their face for a beat, before cutting to black and rolling the end credits.

Ben- What exactly did the janitor say to the protagonist to spur his breakthrough?

ChatGPT- The janitor's words of wisdom are simple, yet profound. He tells the protagonist: "Life is like a mop. You can either use it to clean up the messes around you, or you can let it drag you down. It's all a matter of perspective."

At first, the protagonist is skeptical of such a seemingly cliché advice. But as they think more about the janitor's words, they realize that it's true: life is messy, but it's up to each of us to find meaning and purpose in the midst of the chaos. The protagonist comes to understand that the struggle to find meaning is itself meaningful, and that life is not about having all the answers, but about learning to live with the questions.

April 8, 2023

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Einstein- "The human spirit must prevail over technology."

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I keep getting tricked between the number of cases decreasing and the rate of new cases decreasing. The number of new cases each day is still increasing, but the rate at which they are increasing is slowing, due to our safety measures. If you aren't careful, it can sound like we're over the hump and can relax some safety measures. Places that instituted the strictest safety measures the quickest are doing the best. When do we relax them? I don't know, but certainly after we're over the hump, and not the day after. Let's listen to experts. Keep up the good work, and be thankful that we have better communication and data than they did in 1917/1918.

April 8, 2020

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If Warren was supporting Bernie, and Bernie now supports Biden, does that mean that Warren now supports Biden by the Transitive Property of Presidential Politics?

April 8, 2020

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Perfect. Clear, concise, precise- a withering truth. Disenfranchising voters is the epitome of anti-Americanism.

Dan Rather- Every headline, news organization tweet; article or broadcast that gives oxygen to President Trump’s statements about voting by mail must include the truth that this system is already in place with years of proof that it is effective and free from fraud. 

Let me translate for you. “Widespread voter fraud” really means a lot of "those kinds of people" voting.

April 8, 2020

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A random memory popped into my head tonight. I camped by myself in the Grand Canyon once but I didn't take enough water. On the way out I was passing all these people carrying all of this water but I refused to beg anybody even though I was seriously dehydrated. I got close to the top but stopped at an overlook. I briefly fell asleep on the ground until I was startled awake by what sounded like an incoming missle. It was a condor swooping out of the sky to catch some varmint. All the tourists were ooh-ing and aah-ing. Some kid must have realized I looked messed up and gave me an extra water bottle. Do I owe my life to that condor and kid? Maybe.

April 8, 2017

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Let's face it, we're all ugly on the inside.

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It's good to occasionally remind yourself that Ayn Rand received social security checks.

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If you were just a regular 4-year-old kid, do you think this experience would turn you into a horror writer?

Stephen King- "The event occurred when I was barely four... According to Mom, I had gone off to play at a neighbor’s house - a house that was near a railroad line. About an hour after I left, I came back, she said, ‘as white as a ghost.’ I would not speak for the rest of the day. I would not tell her why I’d not waited to be picked up or phoned that I wanted to come home. I would not tell her why my chum’s mom hadn’t walked me back, but had allowed me to come home alone. It turned out that the kid I had been playing with had been run over by a freight train while playing on or crossing the tracks… My mom never knew if I had been near him when it happened. But I have no memory of the incident at all, only of having been told about it some years after the fact."

That's a quintessential horror story writer origin story!

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On this day in 1820, the Venus de Milo was discovered by a peasant named Yorgos Kentrotas on the Aegean island of Milos. I don't know what the guy did for a living, but let's say it was picking potatoes. Imagine that you pick potatoes everyday for like 40 years, and then discover the Venus de Milo. Incomprehensible that something similar actually happened to somebody.

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On this day in 1945, after an air raid accidentally destroyed a train carrying about 4,000 Nazi concentration camp internees in Prussian Hanover, the survivors were massacred by Nazis.

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The Clash's self-titled album was released on this day in 1977. 

"The hate of a nation

A million miles from home

And get war from the junkies

Who don't like my form

I'm gonna stay in the city

Even when the house fall down

I don't dream of a holiday

When hate and war come around"

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The unidentified I-70 killer began his killing spree on this day in 1992, at a Payless Shoe Source in Indianapolis.

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Crumb was released on this date in 1995.

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This day in 2008, Chase Utley was hit by 3 pitched balls.

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German philosopher Edmund Husserl was born on this date in 1859.

"First, anyone who seriously intends to become a philosopher must "once in his life" withdraw into himself and attempt, within himself, to overthrow and build anew all the sciences that, up to then, he has been accepting. Philosophy wisdom (sagesse) is the philosophizer's quite personal affair. It must arise as His wisdom, as his self-acquired knowledge tending toward universality, a knowledge for which he can answer from the beginning, and at each step, by virtue of his own absolute insights."

Burn everything that you believe down to the ground at least once in your life. Otherwise nobody has any business listening to anything you say.

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Born on this day in 1909, John Fante, perhaps the only person that Bukowski ever looked up to.

"Almighty God, I am sorry I am now an atheist, but have You read Nietzsche?"

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Journalist Seymour Hersh was born on this day in 1937. "Is there anything more dangerous than an ideologue who doesn't know he's wrong?"

He was particularly good in Errol Morris's Wormwood. A story with an ending is a terrible story.

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Sex Pistols fashion designer (in a sense), Vivienne Westwood was born on this day in 1941. Still alive. "The young need discipline and a full bookcase." Something makes me think there weren't too many full bookcases among the Sex Pistols.

Malcolm McClaren died on her 69th birthday.

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Robin Wright, girlfriend of the Dread Pirate Roberts was born on this day in 1966. Wouldn't you want to fetch her a pitcher?

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Patricia Arquette, wife of Clarence Worley was born on this day in 1968. Wouldn't you want to get a piece of pie with her? Emma sent me this pic for no reason.

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Pablo Picasso died on this day in 1973. He said, "Art is not truth; art is the lie that enables us to recognize the truth." A lot can be said about him, but one thing that can't be said is that he didn't know how to use a semi-colon.

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Another notable deathday- Ben Johnson (1996)

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Bathroom graffiti:

Here I sit broken hearted, paid my nickel and only farted. Then It happened one day by chance, I tried to fart but shit my pants. 

I wonder how many times that has run through my head over the years. Probably not as many times as this Louis CK mantra:

"You don't have to be smart, to laugh at a fart, but you have to be stupid not to."

On the Prichard Scale, where the x-axis represents lyricism, and the y-axis represents filthiness, you would be hard-pressed to find another little jingle that would take up more area.

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On this day in 2020, Gretel and I were watching Cosmos, and during the Darwin section she asked me, "If God is real, and he was the first person, would he look more like a person, or more like a monkey?" Good question! I told her she should think about it and figure it out for herself.

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Huffington Post- Margaret Thatcher Receives Critical Eulogy From South Africa

"I've just sent a letter of congratulations," (once exiled ANC leader) Jordan said. "I say good riddance. She was a staunch supporter of the apartheid regime. She was part of the right wing alliance with Ronald Reagan that led to a lot of avoidable deaths."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/08/margaret-thatcher-south-africa-_n_3039649.html

April 8, 2013

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Sinead O'Connor- Black Boys On Mopeds

https://youtu.be/n14lwdpYkAA

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Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest TV shows of all time

I love these Rolling Stone top 100 lists. Always on the money. 

10. Daily Show

9. All In the Family

8. Saturday Night Live

7. Twilight Zone

6. The Simpsons

5. Seinfeld

4. Mad Men

3. Breaking Bad

2. The Wire

1. Sopranos

https://www.rollingstone.com/tv/lists/100-greatest-tv-shows-of-all-time-w439520/twin-peaks-w439623

April 8, 2018

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Some BuzzFeed profound thoughts...

"Coffee flavored water" doesn't sound good but that's exactly what coffee is. If you had a dollar for each of the 13.8 billion years the universe existed you wouldn't make it into the Forbes top 50. Most of the sky is actually below your feet. My standard of living is far greater than that of a king in medieval times. When people think about time travel, they know that they could disrupt the future, but few people think that in the present they have much of an impact on our future. There's a finite set of actions that we could each do that would make us a millionaire, but we don't know what they are. There have been entire civilizations that don't know water has a solid form.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/shower-thoughts

April 8, 2018

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Mayo Clinic cardiologist: 'Inexcusable' to ignore hydroxychloroquine side effects

Seems important... that it could cause cardiac arrest for patients in the red zone, about 11% of us. It may work and it may not... but will it kill 1% who might not have died, and save 1% of those who would? How do you balance that with the fact that the vast majority will live? You get the idea. These nuances don't dawn on the president. When gauging the likely benefits with the likely risks I always tend to listen to doctors vs snake oil salesmen.

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/mayo-clinic-cardiologist-inexcusable-ignore-hydroxychloroquine-side-effects-n1178776

April 8, 2020

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Seems somehow relevant.

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Kierkegaard's journal, 1836:

"I have just now come from a party where I was its life and soul; witticisms streamed from my lips, everyone laughed and admired me, but I went away — yes, the dash should be as long as the radius of the earth's orbit ——————————— and wanted to shoot myself."

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Benjamin Franklin- "Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to it."

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Saul Bellow, To Jerusalem and Back- "A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep."

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Walt Whitman- "There is no God any more divine than Yourself."

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Richard Dawkins, Unweaving the Rainbow- "The feeling of awed wonder that science can give us is one of the highest experiences of which the human psyche is capable. It is a deep aesthetic passion to rank with the finest that music and poetry can deliver. It is truly one of the things that make life worth living and it does so, if anything, more effectively if it convinces us that the time we have for living is quite finite."

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Dumb Short Joke of the Day:

People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

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I asked ChatGPT to write a limerick about me, including something about philosophy and hermit crabs.

Ben Kreider had a thought one fine day

As he watched hermit crabs go on their way

He wondered if each shell

Was a prison or a well

For the crab that called it home to stay.

He pondered life's deep mysteries

Like a true philosopher, if you please

As the hermit crabs roamed

In shells they called home

Ben mused on the meaning of the seas.