Poison Sushi, Google Godliness, and Other Matters if Maximum Importance

Helix Nebula

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Emma and the kids made sushi from scratch last night, which was impressive and delicious, except I screwed mine up by putting too much wasabi on one piece. It turned out that Emma bought some special wasabi crafted in the depths of Hell by the Devil Himself. 

My thoughts raced to WWI mustard gas warfare. I somehow turned into a temporary fire hydrant and destroyed my remaining sushi. I would have preferred to eat Goebbels' cyanide pill instead. 

So the first 99% of the dinner is slated to be forgotten, and it will live in my memory as the worst meal I've ever had.  

Don't worry though, the whole spectacle was the funniest thing my kids have ever seen. They laughed and pointed the whole way from the living room to the kitchen as I stumbled along, shell-shocked, critically needing water. 

We just watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, Encounter At Farpoint, and I think they must have got the impression the Q's court was an example of humanity at it’s apex. 

Solid victory for them, this time.

February 5, 2022

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How about this for a string of weirdness:

I read all of Yuval Noah Harari's books, a key theme of which is that technology is coming to know us better than we know ourselves. (One key example is that he didn't realize he was gay until he was in his 20's, but these days Google and others will now know long before by continuously gauging our interests.)

I saw in an interview that he mentioned that he binge-watched the whole Rick and Morty series, and right afterward, he watched it all again! I never heard of it before, so I put it on my list. 

I just started watching them this week. What a great show! I swear some some of these jokes were made just for me. 

This morning, a Google alert popped up on my phone- a new season is available today! Great, I didn't think they were still making it.

I think, "Wow, Google really knows my taste!" Yeah, just like Yuval Noah Harari. And just like he prophesized about technology's role in our lives.

But who really knows me, Google or Harari? I realized Google first alerted me of the initial Rick and Morty interview to begin with. Was it just Google all along? And for what purpose, so I don't cancel my HBO subscription???

Maybe I'll Google it.

February 5, 2022

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Gretel found two ribbon snakes for free on Craigslist. Zuzu named hers Tom, haha. Gretel's still thinking of a name. Zuzu is saying through her teeth, "hurry up, hurry up."

February 5, 2021

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Many Republicans want to kick Mitt Romney out of the party. Wouldn't it be funny if Merkowski, Collins, and Alexander also voted their conscience and were kicked out of the party, and they lost their majority?

February 5, 2020

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I'm still trying to process the whole Pelosi speech-shredding moment. Here's a smattering of my progression of thoughts:

-I couldn't have seen what it looked like I just saw.

-She really did that???

-Sell them on eBay.

-Hell, put them in the Smithsonian.

-She was asked about it and tripled down- "That was more courteous than the alternative." Has a Speaker of the House ever invoked ass-wiping in criticism of a President before? 

-I used to think the punkest thing in history was Abbie Hoffman making a mockery of the judicial system at the trial of the Chicago 7. Then I thought it was Trump making a mockery of the judicial system, the Congress, the press, the FBI, the CIA, 350 million Americans (minus some portion of 60-some million), and basically the concepts of truth, justice and decency. I mean that guy does not CARE! (Johnny-Rotten-butter-commercial doesn't come close.) But now I've seen the punkest thing imaginable- Pelosi shredding that hour and a half speech, figuratively and literally, with no words, not even one full second after the last word came out of his mouth. 

-That guy shouting "you lie" at Obama though during his one State of the Union.... if someone was critical of his lack of decorum, they need to be critical of Pelosi, right? Seems like it.

-I don't know though... You Lie Guy was setting an example that couldn't be followed. You can't have everyone screaming at the president while they speak- they do have free speech. On the other hand, if future speakers shred speeches of the new most notorious liar in the land, that works for me. And he WAS done speaking, she didn't interrupt. She didn't even say a word. She didn't even need free speech.

-Anyway, it was a garbage speech, meant for the garbage. So rip stuff things up before it goes in the garbage, big deal. Oh, he was very subdued, barely snorted more than once a minute, didn't slur much, garbled only rarely, and read off what others wrote at a nearly reasonable pace for a State of the Union, but when you start with the premise that he's full of shit, and only believe him once his words are proven, you save a massive amount of time and reach the truth faster. Take a measley example from the speech- he will not take away the pre-existing condition clause of Obamacare. Bullshit, they are in court right now trying to strike down the entire law, with no replacement. Garbage goes in the garbage can- rip it, shred it, burn it, defile it, it's not some holy artifact! Blue juice from a port-o-potty would be a step up for Trump's words no matter how passively he says them.

-Rush Limbaugh of all people got a presidential medal of freedom, and meanwhile mere feet away stood a 100-year-old Tuskegee airman. To Trump, the political always trumps the genuine sentiment. Spectacle over substance.

-This was a George W. Bush Dodging the Wingtip moment. A defining moment. Words do it no justice. The action alone said more than anyone could say about it. It cut through the noise of the reality show spectacle. She's "not here to make friends." And face it, neither is Trump! Bannon recently stated that their objective was to destroy the system- that they were not there to make friends with the other side, they were there to destroy them. Well they should expect an equal and opposite reaction, and so far the reaction has been nowhere near equal. The Hill said that Pelosi should resign. Fine! Right after Trump resigns a thousand times over.

-How do you fight a bully? I have to admit, I like how Bloomsburg did it the other day, even if it was in a purile way. Trump called him "little", and Bloomberg started running ads saying Trump lies about everything, "his fake hair, his fake tan, his obesity." Whoa! That cut through the noise. It prompted Trump to post a pic of himself playing golf the next morning! 

-I genuinely don't hate the guy, even if it might seem like I do. I pity him and you can't hate someone you pity. And I'm not just saying that to try to take his power away. With all of his power, and fame, and money, I wouldn't wish it on an enemy to trade places with him for even a second. He's a tortured soul, so he wants to torture others. But where does that get him? I mean other than having his precious speech ripped up by a powerful woman, right behind him on a national stage, and someone having to tell him later, so he can think about it last thing before bed, and think about it again first thing when he gets up.

-Trump is a bad guy, and even with his partisan acquittal behind him (where every last senator knew he was guilty as hell, yet somehow just not quite guilty enough) justice does prevail. Bad guys get their speeches ripped up and should for all eternity, and even though they may sometimes remain in power for a short period, they are forced to live their own miserable life of their own making.

There, maybe I processed it now. Thanks for listening.

February 5, 2020

Postscript- Seriously, put it in the Smithsonian! 

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You know the problem with the Democrats? They don't go for the goal posts. Here you go, free of charge, my suggestions for the rebuttal to the State of the Union:

Greetings Americans, how did you enjoy all those lies? It's time to stop mincing words because our national security hangs in the balance. He's a liar and can't be trusted with anything but his own ego. 

This past week the intelligence chiefs discussed National Security matters. What are their concerns? Russia, North Korea, ISIS- you know, all the things this know-nothing know-it-all thinks are problems of the past. 

Do you know what they didn't mention? A big, dumb wasteful wall. Sure, it'll keep 10 people out, but is that worth 5 billion dollars??? Immigrants do commit crimes though. Of course they do, people commit crimes! What the president won't tell you is that immigrants commit crimes at a lower rate than the rest of us. That means that the more immigrants who come in, the safer the country is proportionately. Sure, not everybody can come in, but let's be reasonable about this- we have to tell the president that he can stick his wall up his ass. 

You know what else we learned this week, the president only works about an hour a day! (If you only worked an hour day he'd call you a lazy bastard.) What else would you expect from a guy who inherited half a billion dollars from his father? If he simply put it in the bank he'd have more money now. Imagine, all the work he's done his whole life, and nothing gained. And... even though he might have a billion dollars, he owes $2 billion! Some billionaire, hahaha. He can't even make money running casinos. 

Let's move on to everybody's favorite subject, infrastructure. Just kidding, but the billionaires became billionaires thanks to our infrastructure, so they can help fix it proportional to what they own. We need to immediately repeal the wasteful tax cut we gave away to them last year. All fiscal conservatives can see that we can't afford it, and with the benefit of hindsight we can see that it didn't do shit. If you raise the corporate rate to what it was during the most prosperous times, we can afford anything.

Which brings us to health care. It's time for Medicare for all. The president is the type of guy who thinks that even though other countries have done it, we can't. He's a defeatist and that's un-American. We put people on the freaking Moon with a computer not even as powerful as the cell phone you have in your pocket. Even Rand Goddamn Paul is going to Canada for an operation. You can't make this stuff up! 

That Mitch McConnell sure gave away his hand this week didn't he? He doesn't want it to be easy for people to vote, because that could only help the Democrats. I've heard of the founding fathers before, but this guy is a floundering motherfucker. Sorry for the language. But you know, anybody wants to make it harder for people to vote is an asshole.

Now I just gave the president a shitload of criticism, but I hear that he adores people who flatter him. Since imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, I made up some numbers as an homage to him- his net worth. I don't know what he's worth, nobody knows what he's worth. He's said before he makes it up depending how he feels. We need to get his taxes out there.

But what about the economy, that's good, right? A lot of aspects of the economy are excellent, continuing along their Obama-era trajectories. But when a proven dumbass is in charge, we can expect things to change. 

Don't listen to my criticism though. Read Mattis's resignation letter with your own eyes. Listen to Tillerson or McMaster, or Kelly. They all paint the same picture of him- a lazy, belligerent moron. Listen to all of the conservative columnists who have spoken out so eloquently. They are ideologically in line with Republicans, but dropped their tribalism.

One more thing, I know this was litigated in the election, so to speak, but let's not forget that when the president ran the Teen USA pageants he liked to barge into the changing rooms. Something he admitted to on Howard Stern. 

Thank you, and pleasant nightmares.

February 5, 2019

Postscript- Not as effective as what Pelosi did the following year!

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Watching the State of the Union... during the clapping I thought I heard a mouse trap snap from the kitchen. Went out, nothing there, considered whether it might be more worth my time watch the empty mouse traps for the next 2 hours.

February 5, 2019

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I've thought this probably 50 times overview last year, but Trump telling O'Reilly that our country isn't so innocent when asked about Putin being a killer... it has to gain traction, right? 

It's an irrational thought. It's not going to gain traction. But if Obama would have said it, they would have run him out of town on a rail, as the kids are saying. Bush would have been run out too, and Clinton, and Bush 1, and so on and so on.

"You think we're so innocent?" No longer political suicide?

February 5, 2017

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Question from the Creation Debate- What would ever change your mind? 

Ham: "I'm a Christian. God has shown himself in the person of Jesus Christ." 

Nye: "Evidence." 

That's really the beginning and end of it, right?

February 5, 2014

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If Emma really loves you, one day she might show you her impersonation of a pug.

February 5, 2013

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Apparently there's some big foosball game this weekend. I heard it's even going to be televised.

February 5, 2010

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Vivian Maier

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La Dolce Vita was released on this day in 1960.

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The Apollo 14 astronauts landed on the Moon on this day in 1971.

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Memories of 21A, somewhere around 1998.

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On this day in 2020, Donald Trump was acquitted by the United States Senate in his first impeachment trial.

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William S. Burroughs joined us on this day in 1914.

"Happiness is a byproduct of function, purpose, and conflict; those who seek happiness for itself seek victory without war."

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Errol Morris joined us on this day in 1948. He has to be in my top 10 favorite directors. What a knockout lineup of films! And what got them started? Herzog told him that he would eat his boot if he got his first film made. I'm due to watch Gates of Heaven again, what a gem.

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Other notable birthdays- Hank Aaron (1934), H. R. Giger (1940), Christopher Guest (1948), Barbara Hershey (1948), Tim Meadows (1961), Jennifer Jason Leigh (1962), Roberto Alomar (1968)

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Thomas Carlyle left us on this day in 1881.

"If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it."

George Eliot in 1855:

"It is an idle question to ask whether his books will be read a century hence: if they were all burnt as the grandest of Suttees on his funeral pile, it would be only like cutting down an oak after its acorns have sown a forest. For there is hardly a superior or active mind of this generation that has not been modified by Carlyle's writings; there has hardly been an English book written for the last ten or twelve years that would not have been different if Carlyle had not lived."

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Kirk Douglas left us on this day in 2020 at the age of 103. The screen presence in this film and this scene in particular has always stuck with me. When Gretel was 2 or 3 she used to say, "I want to watch war," and I knew she meant this scene. With no Kirk Douglas there would be no Kubrick. Quite a contribution in itself.

https://youtu.be/0gyyGHHXfck

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Another notable deathday- Joseph L. Mankiewicz (1993)

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Bazo's back after a two week jaunt in freezing temperatures!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmRA9k55dNg

February 5, 2015

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This is a powerful ad by Budweiser. Reminded me of what Kubrick said on editing being the essence of what makes film a unique artform, and how it relates to ads. From a Rolling Stone interview:

SK: TV commercials have figured that out. Leave content out of it, and some of the most spectacular examples of film art are in the best TV commercials.

RS: Give me an example.

SK: The Michelob commercials. I'm a pro-football fan, and I have videotapes of the games sent over to me, commercials and all. Last year Michelob did a series, just impressions of people having a good time —

RS: The big city at night.

SK: And the editing, the photography, was some of the most brilliant work I've ever seen. Forget what they're doing — selling beer — and it's visual poetry. Incredible eight-frame cuts. And you realize that in thirty seconds they've created an impression of something rather complex. If you could ever tell a story, something with some content, using that kind of visual poetry, you could handle vastly more complex and subtle material

https://www.buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/people-are-boycotting-budweiser-because-of-its-political-sup

February 5, 2017

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Yahoo News- Ivanka Trump fires back at art exhibit that some claim 'oversexualizes' her

Anybody who is down on this hasn't read the press release. What does it say about Ivanka? What does it say about the crumb-throwers? If it was simple, it'd be bad art. The press release:

“Inspired by a figure whose public persona incorporates an almost comically wide range of feminine identities — daughter, wife, mother, sister, model, working woman, blonde — Ivanka Vacuuming is simultaneously a visual celebration of a contemporary feminine icon; a portrait of our own relationship to that figure; and a questioning of our complicity in her role-playing. The public is invited to throw crumbs onto the carpet, watching as Ivanka elegantly vacuums up the mess, her smile never wavering. This process repeats itself for the entire duration of the performance."

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ivanka-trump-fires-back-art-exhibit-critics-say-oversexualizes-160418512.html

February 5, 2019

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I don't usually follow fan theories, but this one seems on the money.

The Onion- New ‘Avengers’ Fan Theory Suggests Key To Beating Thanos Could Be Nothing Because He Not Real And None Of This Exists

https://trib.al/8CU5hyt

February 5, 2019

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Politico- Read the full text: Mitt Romney's remarks on impeachment vote

Does anyone seriously disagree with Romney's conclusions? Here they are in part. Follow the link for his complete remarks. They should be in every American history book going forward.

"The grave question the Constitution tasks senators to answer is whether the President committed an act so extreme and egregious that it rises to the level of a “high crime and misdemeanor." Yes, he did. The President asked a foreign government to investigate his political rival. The President withheld vital military funds from that government to press it to do so. The President delayed funds for an American ally at war with Russian invaders. The President’s purpose was personal and political. Accordingly, the President is guilty of an appalling abuse of the public trust."

https://politi.co/2UtsHte

February 5, 2020

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Charles Darwin, Life and Letters- "To those who fully admit the immortality of the human soul, the destruction of our world will not seem so dreadful."

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Steinbeck, The Pastures of Heaven- "After the bare requisites to living and reproducing, man wants most to leave some record of himself, a proof, perhaps, that he has really existed. He leaves his proof on wood, on stone or on the lives of other people. This deep desire exists in everyone, from the boy who writes dirty words in a public toilet to the Buddha who etches his image in the race mind. Life is so unreal. I think that we seriously doubt that we exist and go about trying to prove that we do."

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H.L. Mencken- "The notion that a radical is one who hates his country is naïve and usually idiotic. He is, more likely, one who likes his country more than the rest of us, and is thus more disturbed than the rest of us when he sees it debauched. He is not a bad citizen turning to crime; he is a good citizen driven to despair."

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Edward Abbey- The best thing about graduating from the university was that I finally had time to sit on a log and read a good book.

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Carlyle again- "What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books."

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Miyazaki- "You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two."

Wow. Not to fight for good, but to fight for balance. It actually might sum up my political views.

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An exchange between Larry King and Norm Macdonald on Larry King Now, from 2016:

King: What's something people don't know about you? 

Macdonald: I'm a deeply closeted gay guy. 

King: No kidding. 

Macdonald: Well I'm not coming out though. 

King: Wait a minute. What are you revealing here today? 

Macdonald: I'm not revealing anything. I'm saying I'm deeply closeted. 

King: But that means you're gay. 

Macdonald: Well, I wouldn't say that. Why would I say that? I'm deeply closeted. 

King: That means you're very, very gay but you don't want to come out, you're so closeted - 

Macdonald: That I refuse to say I'm gay. 

King: Right. 

Macdonald: Exactly. 

King: But doesn't that mean you're gay? 

Macdonald: Hey hey hey! Easy, buddy...

Addendum

1.

Myspace Blog

February 5, 2008

Ape Shit

If history remembers me for anything, I hope it's for being the first to recognize the etymology of the term ape shit, as in, "That guy's gone ape shit!" It comes from bananas, as in "That guy's gone bananas!" Get it? Ape shit, and bananas. They're the same thing except one's been processed. OK, I admit I don't know which one stemmed from which, but I do know that they're related. I do know that damn it!

2.

Myspace Blog 

February 5, 2006

Keep on...

So, today is the 4th day of a 6-day fast that I'm participating in, to raise awareness for the 30-year anniversary of Leonard Peltier's unjust imprisonment. Everything was going fine until I... got the runs. (Cue the Price Is Right loser trumpet music, "bwawm, bwawm, bwaaaawmp") 

I needed advice so I turned to the trusty internet. "Fasting? Got the runs? No problem," it said. OK, great... but then it caught my eye that you aren't supposed to fast for longer than 3-5 days if you have kidney problems, which I do... not a serious kidney problem, but a kidney problem nonetheless. 

Well my logical reasoning skills kicked in and I thought "if I shouldn't fast for longer than 3-5 days, I probably shouldn't fast for 3 days, and if I shouldn't fast for 3 days perhaps I shouldn't fast for 2 days, or even 1." 

I felt bad because I should've done my homework first, and I felt I should stop, but I already committed, and a press release went out, and I've been in communication with a lot of the other activists and so on. I was conflicted. I needed advice that the internet couldn't provide.

I've known Emma over 10 years and I can't remember ever asking her advice on anything- not because I don't trust her advice, it's because I try to always be self-sufficient. I was desperate. I called her. She wasn't home. It turned out that she thought going on a field trip to listen to birdcalls was somehow more important. I left a message for her to call me as soon as she got home, it was urgent. 

Luckily she didn't go home, she came right to my house. I was thankful that I would get her advice in person. I went through the whole story. She looked kind of distracted, as she always does when I talk, but I continued. (Her distraction isn't rudeness, she's been conditioned by the best.) I got to the end of my story and asked her what she thought I should do. With her eyes focused on the back of a soup can she said...

"Keep on shittin'."

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