Lucifer Spam, Dewback Baby, and the Purpose of the Universe

Bill Hicks died on this day in 1994. This is my favorite joke of his.

"I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" Nothing. "Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?"

...

Other notable deathdays- Karl Jaspers (1969), Lawrence Tierney (2002)

...

Today we visited the memorial to Hans Herr (1639-1725) and his wife Elizabeth Mylin Kendig Herr (1639-1730) at the Willow Street Mennonite Cemetery. They are Gretel and Zuzu's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents, and two of the first Mennonite immigrants to Lancaster County, fleeing religious persecution in Switzerland. 

How about this physical description of Hans:

"In person, he was of medium height, with long gray hair curled under at ends and parted in the middle; had heavy brows, dark hazel eyes, aquiline nose, mouth rather small with heavy lips, his complexion was florid, with full beard covering the face, the whole lighted by a countenance in which sweetness and austerity were gracefully blended."

I guess back before pictures, they used to rely pretty heavily on descriptions! The painting was done much later, off the description.

...

Zelenskyy’s execution is likely imminent. He’s refused a U.S. offer of extrication to set up an exile government, choosing instead to remain and fight. He'll enter martyrdom if he doesn't survive, remembered as an enduring symbol for democracy over authoritarianism, self-rule over rule by force. He's already won. Putin joins the list of histories worst villains, and those supporting him can live out their days in disgrace.

February 26, 2022

...

Hey, where did all of those there-was-a-big-snowstorm-so-there-is-no-global-warming people go this year???

February 26, 2020

...

I go to the Women & Babies Hospital to get my blood work done. Contrary to popular opinion, they let in all humans. I have a suspicion though that the nurses resent me going there. I could conduct a scientific experiment if I wanted, but my hypothesis is that the needles there hurt a bit more, like they don't try as hard with me. It's probably just paranoia, but in my mind they are trying to make me cry... like, "Since you're not a woman, I'll make you cry like a baby!"

February 26, 2020

...

I was wondering why Warren and Sanders were getting boos during the debate last night, while Bloomberg and others were getting tons of cheers... cheers that seemed artificial at times. I read that seats to the debate cost $1,750, and the type of person who can afford them just might not like the idea of their taxes going up for the benefit of everybody else.

February 26, 2019

...

Oscar thoughts 2017

Great speech by Viola Davis. "There’s one place that all the people with the greatest potential are gathered. One place. And that’s the graveyard... we are the only profession that celebrates what it means to live a life."

.

Mel Gibson looks like the offspring of Thurston Howell III and some old saddle bag, then pop in two devil eyes.

.

Drinking this wine tonight, to remind me of the absurdity of the Oscars. Alfred Hitchcock never won one for directing.

February 26, 2017

...

Shrewd move on Christie's behalf...endorse Trump, then he picks him for VP. Then if there's a convention showdown (or whatever they call it) perhaps the party picks him over Trump.

February 26, 2016

...

Gretel with her Dewback baby.

...

Ricky Gervais- "A day off just messing about on the water. Not a care in the world...."

...

I guess I'm at the top of the hill today!

February 26, 2014

Postscript- Last day of my 30's.

...

Just turned on Emma's car, heard a quarter second of I Saw the Sign on the radio and knew it would be in my head for the next week.

February 26, 2014

...

Cardinals manager and former catcher Mike Matheny wants home plate collisions banned from baseball. No need! The catcher can just get out of the way and let the person score.

February 26, 2013

...

Oscar Thoughts 2012

This year the oscars has a person playing an electric violin... you know, to appeal to the youth crowd.

.

Norm MacDonald- "It would be cool in the In Memoriam segment if they could tell us which people were in Hell."

.

13-3 on my oscar picks so far.

.

I never hear an interviewer ask "Who are you wearing?" without imagining that they're interviewing Ed Gein.

February 26, 2012

...

An Oscar prediction: different members of the audience stand up and declare "I'm Banksy" in Spartacus fashion.

February 26, 2011

...

On this day in 1616, Galileo was formally banned by the Roman Catholic Church from teaching or defending the view that the earth orbits the sun. Somehow they still have credibility to some people! It wasn't until 1692 that they accepted it.

... 

It's Grand Canyon National Parkcs birthday- Woodrow Wilson established it on this day in 1919.

...

The Great Rock 'N' Roll Swindle was released on this day in 1979.

...

On this day in 1993, Ramzi Yousef and others bombed the World Trade Center with a truck bomb they parked underneath, killing six and injuring over a thousand people. I was at the World Trade Center a week or two before the towers fell down, reflecting on the fact that Yousef's intent was to blow up the one and crash it into the other. At one point Yousef was in a maximum security Prison in Colorado in a wing with four prisoners including Timothy McVeigh and Ted Kaczynski. I don't know who the fourth was. They had an hour or so outside with each other each day, I believe. I wonder what they talked about.

It's like Norm Macdonald's would say- imagine being a fly in the wall for those conversations, you couldn't understand the thing and you'd be watching out for spiders.

...

THE BEST SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF TENNIS- this day in 2005- Federer versus Agassi Dubai semi-final.

https://youtu.be/srzdbjHZqr4

...

George Zimmerman shot 17-year-old student Trayvon Martin to death on this day in 2012, and thanks to Florida's absurd Stand Your Ground law, he went free. If Martin had a weapon, apparently under that law he would have been justified in killing Zimmerman. I guess as long as you're afraid, you're free to kill whoever you like in Florida.

...

The final Lucifer Spam video is released!

From Brian:

Alright... the video has dropped!

I have to warn you it's a bit bonkers... To briefly explain: This is an animated tribute to an absurd high school "movie" that my friends and I attempted (and failed) to make, 30+ years ago... reimagined here as a music video.

Doing this in cartoon format allowed for quite the upgrade in special effects and costumes, ha ha, but pretty much all of the characters and plot developments here are taken directly from the story we had written out in 1992.

Featuring the original cast members of Ben Kreider, Ken Myers, Jamie Silbaugh, me, Sean Getz, Moe Gatto, Mike Cardina, Clem Adams and Heather Schnader... with a few additional cameos!

"Help!" by Lucifer Spam

Runtime: 8 min

Genre: sci-fi/fantasy, action, comedy

Description: A third rate rock band is gifted with useless superhuman abilities and tasked with defending their town from the forces of evil.

.

Additional background from Brian:

A few more background details on the cartoon I just posted, for anyone interested (contains spoilers):

In 11th grade, Jamie Silbaugh, Ken Myers, Ben Kreider and I were in a fake band called Lucifer Spam. We didn’t actually play music, much… we mostly just made jokey videos where we goofed around with friends, did a couple stunts, and played instruments badly.

In the idle days of summer ‘92, before leaving for college, we started talking about doing one last video, an absurd feature-length super hero movie called “Help!” where we’d save our little town from a rival band of supervillains.

We wrote out the story and even came up with some music for it, but it never worked out… there were too many people involved to ever coordinate on filming. And then we simply ran out of summer… Jamie would die in a car accident, a few months later.

Had we actually made this thing, the end result would’ve just been ridiculous and juvenile, I’m sure… but it was always one of my biggest regrets of high school that we never made it.

A whole lifetime went by… and then, last year, I found myself in a deeply nostalgic state of mind… There were so few photos, tapes or mementos to even document that time period. So to pay respect to the 30th anniversary of this never-made high school project, I decided to put together an animated music video to sum up the story, with a newly recorded rendition of the theme song Jamie and I had made.

Doing this in cartoon format allowed for an “unlimited budget” on costumes, sets and special effects, so I was able to upgrade it into a sort of micro-blockbuster… but the main plot points and characters here are all taken directly from our 1992 storyline. Jamie really was going to spend half the movie lying around in his sleeping bag, as Wormboy, before emerging from a cocoon with moth wings, to save the day.

It’s been a fun and totally absorbing project to work on, this past year… To collaborate on all aspects of the production with Ben and Ken… and dwell in a collective, imaginary past. As if we were all really back in that world, hanging out, goofing around and having adventures again… Making nostalgic high school era artifacts out of thin air… Undoing old regrets and missed opportunities, and giving life to old, forgotten dreams…

...

Christopher Marlowe joined us on this day in 1564. Here's a solid gold tidbit from way back then:

"Hell is just a frame of mind."

...

Victor Hugo joined us on this day in 1802.

“Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad.”

...

Johnny Cash joined us on this day in 1932. One of my favorites- No Earthly Good

https://youtu.be/uRkdqnyBeO8

...

Other notable birthdays- Buffalo Bill (1846), Fats Domino (1928)

...

...

Yahoo Sports- Dennis Rodman is going to North Korea

With all of the horrible things going on in the world, finally some progress. Right?

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/dennis-rodman-going-north-korea-135821834--nba.html

February 26, 2013

...

Judges 3:22- easily my favorite Bible verse, love the nuance between the translations. 

"And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out."

(Come on Bible, leave something to our imaginations!)

http://bible.cc/judges/3-22.htm

February 26, 2013

...

New York Times- Will Trump Take ‘Brutally Forthright’ Advice From McMaster?

I'm so intrigued how this will play out. From the article:

“The difficulty is that Trump has a lot of crazy ideas in his head — like we should steal Iraq’s oil or we should kill the relatives of terrorists or we need to ban Muslims from coming here,” said Max Boot, a military historian at the Council on Foreign Relations. “And I’m sure someone like McMaster, like Mattis, understands how crackpot these ideas are.

“So can you say to the president, ‘Hey, Sir, you’re full” of it? Mr. Boot continued. “Or do you have to sugarcoat it and handle him with kid gloves? I suspect it’s the latter, and that’s not been H. R.’s approach. We’ll see if Trump is man enough to take it.”

Whether Mr. Trump has read or will read “Dereliction of Duty” and, if so, what lessons he will draw remain to be seen. “This will really be a test of Trump as commander in chief,” Mr. Goldstein said in an interview. “Can he absorb and benefit from the advice of a strong adviser who probably doesn’t share many of his biases?”

He added: “This is why this movie’s going to be really fascinating to watch. I don’t think we know how that conflict is going to be resolved.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/25/us/politics/hr-mcmaster-trump.html

February 26, 2017

...

Hollywood Reporter- Topher Grace Edited All 10 ‘Star Wars’ Movies Into a Huge Trailer

I'd watch that movie...

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/star-wars-watch-all-10-movies-shrunk-a-trailer-by-topher-grace-1190812

February 26, 2019

...

From 2017:

Washington Post- Nearly 700 vacancies at CDC because of Trump administration’s hiring freeze

Seems somehow important, right? This mistake stems from the childish belief that... to put it succinctly... as Frankenstein might... "TAXES BAD!" Well just maybe sometimes if we pool our resources we can actually improve the common good... thinking of libraries, police departments, fire departments, schools, roads... and just perhaps the Center of Disease Control makes it to that echelon.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2017/05/19/nearly-700-vacancies-at-cdc-because-of-trump-administration-hiring-freeze

February 26, 2020

...

...

Snopes- Did Turkish Football Fans Chant Putin 'Looks Like a Dick'?

They did.

If a stadium full of people ever chant: "He looks like a dick, sinister face, son of a bitch, Ben Kreider," remind me to jump out of the nearest window.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/turkish-chant-putin-looks-like-dick/

February 26, 2022

...

...

Yiddish curse- "May all of your teeth fall out but one, so you can have a toothache.

...

H.L. Mencken's definition of puritanism- "The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."

...

Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens- "Just as medieval culture did not manage to square chivalry with Christianity, so the modern world fails to square liberty with equality. But this is no defect. Such contradictions are an inseparable part of every human culture. In fact they are the cultures engines, responsible for the creativity and dynamism of our species. Just as when two clashing musical notes play together force a piece of music forward, so discord in our thoughts, ideas and values compel us to think, reevaluate and criticize. Consistency is the playground of dull minds."

...

Sartre- "Ah! Do not judge the gods, young man, they have painful secrets."

...

Epictetus-"Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of men's desires, but by the removal of desire."

...

Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange- "Oh it was gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh. The trombones crunched redgold under my bed, and behind my gulliver the trumpets three-wise silverflamed, and there by the door the timps rolling through my guts and out again crunched like candy thunder. Oh, it was wonder of wonders. And then, a bird of like rarest spun heavenmetal, or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now, came the violin solo above all the other strings, and those strings were like a cage of silk round my bed. Then flute and oboe bored, like worms of like platinum, into the thick thick toffee gold and silver. I was in such bliss, my brothers."

...

Lincoln- "I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice."

...

Hunter S. Thompson- "The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

...

David Foster Wallace- "To me, at least in retrospect, the really interesting question is why dullness proves to be such a powerful impediment to attention. Why we recoil from the dull. Maybe it’s because dullness is intrinsically painful; maybe that’s where phrases like ‘deadly dull’ or ‘excruciatingly dull’ come from. But there might be more to it. Maybe dullness is associated with psychic pain because something that’s dull or opaque fails to provide enough stimulation to distract people from some other, deeper type of pain that is always there, if only in an ambient, low-level way, and which most of us spend nearly all our time and energy trying to distract ourselves from feeling, or at least from feeling directly or with our full attention. Admittedly, the whole thing’s pretty confusing, and hard to talk about abstractly…but surely something must lie behind not just Muzak in dull or tedious places any more but now also actual TV in waiting rooms, supermarkets’ checkouts, airport gates, SUVs’ backseats. Walkman, iPods, BlackBerries, cell phones that attach to your head. This terror of silence with nothing diverting to do. I can’t think anyone really believes that today’s so-called ‘information society’ is just about information. Everyone knows it’s about something else, way down."

...

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters- "You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth."

...

Steinbeck- “All the goodness and the heroisms will rise up again, then be cut down again and rise up. It isn’t that the evil thing wins — it never will — but that it doesn’t die.”

...

Mitch Hedberg- "I like rice. Rice is great if you want to eat 2,000 of something."

I think of that every single time I eat rice. I think of that, and Kissinger bombing the Vietnamese with the intent of wiping out the rice crop.

...

Schopenhauer- "A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man."