Dead Cows Farting and Other Absurdities

Trump's first day in office was this day in 2017.

Benjamin Franklin- "Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame."

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David Lynch's 76th birthday today. 

Do you know one way you might know you've made something out of yourself? When you're making your second film and you hear through the grapevine that Stanley Kubrick's favorite film is the first one you made. 

You know how else you might know you made it? When David Foster Wallace defines an adjective out of your last name: 

Lynchian: a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and the very mundane combine in such a way as to reveal the former’s perpetual containment within the latter.

January 20, 2023

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Flavorwire- 65 things you didn't know about David Lynch.

He was offered the job to direct Fast Times at Ridgemont High???

https://www.flavorwire.com/144303/65-things-you-didnt-know-about-david-lynch

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I'm due to watch Clockwork Orange again...

Prescient quote for Trump's last day in office.

January 20, 2021

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Biden is inheriting Lincoln's divided country, Wilson's pandemic, FDR's economic depression, and Johnson's racial and social unrest. He's destined to be a transformative president. 

We don't all have to agree on policy, and there's no way we ever could, but let's not forget that we're on the same plane and need the pilot to succeed. 

I've been critical of the soon-to-be-former president, maybe you noticed, haha. Through it all though I wanted him to succeed, believe it or not. As evidence, look at his 100 missteps on Covid-19. I genuinely believe that if he took it seriously, listening to experts for instance, or showing any humanity, or simply telling the truth as he knew it, he'd be inaugurated a second time today. 

Immediately after becoming president I said he could be very popular if he followed through on his campaign promise of providing health insurance to everybody, and inexpensively. (Obviously he had no plan, but that's not my fault.) I believe that if he listened to his critics, even solely his conservative critics, he could have been great, despite it all. But he only ever listened to himself. 

Biden should be judged by how he lifts up individuals, and as individuals we should give him a chance. He's not above criticism, but his work is cut out for him, and there are many bipartisan, non-political improvements that we can get done together. 

So forget about Biden being a transformative president, and let's realize that we need to be a transformative society. It might sound pollyannaish but I do believe that we are a government of the people. Complaints about the government are really complaints about ourselves, and government victories are our victories. 

Let's be victorious and transform ourselves for the better, and keep looking for the more perfect union.

January 21, 2021

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I'm hung up on this detail... it's just too quintessentially Trumpian. A perfectly fitting bookend to a perfectly corrupt presidency.

Trump pardoned Bannon who defrauded his We Build the Wall charity for a million dollars. Trump and Bannon came to power by convincing their own base that Mexico would build their wall, then fundraised from their own supporters to do it themselves, then stole the money and got off.

Even if someone agreed with everything Trump did in his first 1460 days, shouldn't he be remembered by his own base for this abomination against them on his 1461st?

January 20, 2021

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Alright, commencing my Trump hiatus...

https://fb.watch/iam9FmVu5v/?mibextid=NnVzG8

January 20, 2021

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The best of Roger Federer. I could watch this on a non-stop loop.

https://fb.watch/iamoTmGnqb/?mibextid=NnVzG8

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It's humbling to see your name on a tombstone.

January 20, 2019

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I'm with Trump on this shutdown thing. He said, "A shutdown falls on the President's lack of leadership. He can't even control his party and get people together in a room. A shutdown means the President is weak." 

He's not a hypocrite, so the year he said that doesn't matter, right?

January 20, 2018

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After all these balls tonight, DC needs a women's march just to even things out.

January 20, 2017

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If somebody doesn't like people to protest, they should take their own advice and keep it to themselves.

January 20, 2017

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Did Donald "The Opposite is Always True" Trump, self-proclaimed champion of the working man, say he wanted a unified America or a reunified pre-2008 Goldman Sachs stockpiled in his cabinet?

Elizabeth Warren- Just minutes after taking the oath of office, President Trump‎ made it harder for working families to get a mortgage. The President suspended a planned cut in FHA mortgage insurance premiums, which the National Association of Realtors estimates will cost as many as 40,000 families a shot at a new home. That’s 40,000 who just lost their chance to buy a home thanks to brand new President Trump. Now that he's in office, we must measure the President by his actions, not only his words – and what he did today was make it that much harder for families trying to achieve the American Dream.

January 20, 2017

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I would have gone to the Women's March, but you have to understand- I saw Dirty Dancing in the theater on the 25th anniversary, and I'm imagining the same vibe, multiplied by several thousand percent. All I know is that Patrick Swayze better not get anywhere near that thing.

January 20, 2017

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I'm just going to keep going... I'm considering Trump's presidency my own personal Mystery Science Theater 5000 hecklethon.

January 20, 2017

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Trump supporters wearing China-made "Make America Great Again" hats, applauding wildly at the "Buy American" line...you have the same feeling I do, that they might not understand irony.

January 20, 2017

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To the women marching tomorrow- thank you.

But wait, how did I get stuck watching the kids for the day??? That seems somehow ironic. Maybe there is something to this whole oppressed white male phenomenon. SAD!

January 20, 2017

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Awww, Zuzu learned to say "cracker"... her first racial epithet.

January 20, 2017

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Trump- "Now is the hour for action... I'll be out of the office until Monday."

January 20, 2017

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I might have just solved the healthcare problem with a drinking game- every time Trump says something petty, vindictive, small-minded, vengeful, flat-out false or mean-spirited, drink a tall glass of water. 

(Added bonus, if we can find a way to turn sea water into drinking water, we can use this plan to combat rising sea levels.)

January 20, 2017

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You know what's been crossing my mind a lot lately- we're always two square meals away from the end of civilization.

January 20, 2017

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People keep saying that we're waiting to see what the Republican healthcare plan is. We already know what it is, it's nothing! Same as it was under Bush. They had those 8 years to come up with something, and 6 years since Obamacare was passed to come up with an alternative. Their plan is nothing.

January 20, 2017

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Steinbeck, The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights- "Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone. Some are destroyed by defeat, and some made small and mean by victory. Greatness lives in one who triumphs equally over defeat and victory."

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Orwell- "In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

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It's a good night to remember how disproportionately old and ugly the members of congress are.

January 20, 2015

Postscript- State of the Union, I assume.

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I just asked Gretel to point to a star and she pointed to JUPITER! And she thinks she's so smart.

January 20, 2015

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Einstein owned 7 identical suits so he wouldn't waste any brain power deciding what to wear.

January 20, 2017

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Bah! Surgery next Wednesday on my torn Achilles tendon, and then no sports for six months or so. Thankfully the tendon is still hanging by a few threads. Perfect day for Emma to leave for Rwanda, ain't?

January 20, 2011

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On this day in 1981, twenty minutes after Ronald Reagan was inaugurated, Iran released 52 American hostages. Seems like some funny business!

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Breaking Bad premiered on this day in 2008.

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Leadbelly was born on this day in 1888.

"One of the songs I'm gonna sing is We All in the Same Boat Brother. You rock it too far to the right you fall in the waddah, rock it too far to the left you fall in the same waddah, and it's just as wet on both sides."

One of my very favorites:

POOR HOWARD 

Poor Howard's dead and gone, left me here to sing his song

Poor Howard's dead and gone, left me here to sing his song

Poor Howard had a wife and she nagged him all his life

So he used his butcher knife---like I said he had a wife

Now poor Howard's dead and gone...

They took Howard off to jail, wouldn't let me go his bail

They said if he is your friend, buy a lily for his hand

Poor Howard's dead and gone...

When we laid his bones to rest we fulfilled his last request

He said buddies bury me far from her as I can be

Now poor Howard's dead and gone...

His last words were 'Friends, goodbye. Don't you worry; don't you cry

I don't mind this a gettin' hung, at least I stopped her naggin' tongue'

Now poor Howard's dead and gone

https://youtu.be/0-fHX0cIUs4

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George Burns join us on this day in 1896.

"Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up."

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Federico Fellini was born on this day in 1920. At is best there was nobody better.

https://youtu.be/7_hfZoe9FHE

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Hero of the human race, last remaining Apollo 11 astronaut, second man to walk on the moon, Buzz Aldrin, was born on this day in 1930. Here's Bill Burr recounting Buzz's altercation with a moon conspiracy theorist. (There's about one word too many in it though.)

https://youtu.be/bDKJu7JtTas

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Bill Maher was born on this day in 1956. There are not a lot of people like him in entertainment- those perfectly willing to alienate their own audience. Bill Maher, Sam Harris, Andrew Sullivan, who else?

The Bible, if you read it, looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs. “And then God made woman out of a rib. A rib! Look at that.”

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Kellyanne Conway was born on this day in 1967. Here she is on this day in 2017. That didn't work out so good for her, and she is smart enough to know what she did.

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Other notable birthdays- Fareed Zakaria (1964), Evan Peters (1987)

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We lost Josh Gibson on this day in 1947, at the age of 35. One of the greatest baseball players to ever play the game, perhaps the greatest. He was the second negro leagues player to be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, behind Satchel Paige. He supposedly had 800 home runs.

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Barbara Stanwyck left this on this day in 1990. Double Indemnity might be a perfect film. Plus she had the great sense to work with Sam Fuller early in his career.

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We lost Audrey Hepburn on this day in 1993. He thoroughly beautiful human being.

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years."

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Other notable deathdays- Alan Freed (1965), Johnny Weissmuller (1984), Etta James (2012), Meat Loaf (2022)

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Huffington Post- Barney Frank Concedes Health Care Approach 'No Longer Appropriate' After Brown Beats Coakley

Read that headline. For a second I thought he was talking about voting to end the filibuster so that majority votes would rule both the house and senate. No, he means that republicans now run the senate with a 41-59 minority. It baffles me how stupid I am.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/19/barney-frank-concedes-hea_n_429128.html

January 20, 2010

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Frontline- Sick Around the World

Who has the better health care system- the U.S., England, Germany, Taiwan, Japan, or Swizerland? I'm talking in terms of price per GDP, length and quality of life, infant mortality, wait times, innovation, bankrupcies, etc. Very informative and engrossing...

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/sickaroundtheworld/

January 20, 2010

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Anybody out there with broken or missing arms that would like to team with me to defeat somebody at something? If not, check out the one-minute mark of this clip and then see if you don't reconsider. One of John Waters' favorite films.

https://youtu.be/jvkhYcTEwRE

January 20, 2011

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Huffington Post- Obsessed: Coffee, by David Lynch

Inspired me to get a third cup this morning...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-lynch/coffee_b_1216532.html

January 20, 2013

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The Onion- Looking Back On The Worst 365 Days Of Donald Trump's Presidency

"Secret Service Adds Emotional Protection Division To Safeguard Trump’s Psyche"

https://trib.al/N76UFZT

January 20, 2018

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Live Science- 1st preserved dinosaur butthole is 'perfect' and 'unique,' paleontologist says

It's only Biden's first day in office, and the news has already turned for the better!

https://www.livescience.com/first-dinosaur-butthole-found.html

January 20, 2021

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Lynch again, "What a great time to be alive if you love the theater of the absurd."

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Camus- "Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable."

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The Dalai Lama- Congratulating President Joe Biden

Consider reading the comments of the 14th Dalai Lama's post to experience the full range of human emotions, from "namaste" and "om" to "piss off," "lmfao," "omg, not you too," and multiple puking emojis.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02A77jqNUEqQxxWvmpeJUT71iCw1WoboYAtQW58a5v5BZmctSPu6TeMio6nQw5FxjFl&id=339188887615&sfnsn=mo&mibextid=6aamW6

January 20, 2021

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Anonymous- "Change is inevitable, except for my vending machine."

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Johnny Cash, liner notes- "This morning, with her, having coffee."

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Helen Konek will be 91 years old in May, but here she was 17 entering her family's igloo. Photo is by Richard Harrington.

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Bill Maher again- "I have never done heroin. I wouldn't recommend heroin. But it hasn't hurt my record collection."

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Sy Montgomery, The Soul of an Octopus- "Octopuses are famous for showing up in places that surprise you. One giant Pacific octopus took up temporary residence in a pair of overalls in a shipwreck (and scared a diver half to death when the overalls rose up before him, writhing).

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Joseph Campbell, Creative Mythology- "Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends."

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Plutarch- "All men while they are awake, are in one common world; but each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own."

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Nikolai Gogol, Dead Souls: A Novel- "Nothing could be more pleasant than to live in solitude, enjoy the spectacle of nature, and occasionally read some book."

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MLK- "We all too often have socialism for the rich and rugged free market capitalism for the poor."

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Mark Twain- "Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane--like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell--mouths mercy and invented hell--mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!"

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Lynch, yet again- "Every single thing in the world that was made by anyone started with an idea. So to catch one that is powerful enough to fall in love with, it is one of the most beautiful experiences. It's like being jolted with electricity and knowledge at the same time."

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Bruce Chatwin, The Songlines- "Sluggish and sedentary peoples, such as the Ancient Egyptians-- with their concept of an afterlife journey through the Field of Reeds-- project on to the next world the journeys they failed to make in this one."

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Muhammad Ali- "I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'."

I can't tell if that's a good attitude or a crap attitude!

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Dave Attell- "Ever wrestle your dog 'til you cum?"

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Asimov- Don't you believe in flying saucers, they ask me? Don't you believe in telepathy? — in ancient astronauts? — in the Bermuda triangle? — in life after death?

No, I reply. No, no, no, no, and again no.

One person recently, goaded into desperation by the litany of unrelieved negation, burst out "Don't you believe in anything?"

Yes", I said. "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it. The wilder and more ridiculous something is, however, the firmer and more solid the evidence will have to be.

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Leo Rosten- "Dear God: I know you will provide, but why don't you provide until you provide?"

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Hunter S. Thompson- "It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die”

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Eckhart Tolle- "The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."

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Franklin- "How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!"

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Hawking- "The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people."

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George Burns- "First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

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