Heel Wounding and Apostle Healing
Which movies would have I picked as the greatest for the 2022 Sight and Sound poll? Not necessarily my favorite top 10, but I'd vote for these 10 as the greatest.
2001
Citizen Kane
My Darling Clementine
Down By Law
The Graduate
Civil War
Seven Samurai
The Seventh Seal
Before Sunrise
Mulholland Drive
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And I could just as easily vote for 10 others
The Grapes of Wrath
City Lights
The Thin Red Line
Jaws
The Big Lebowski
Manhattan
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Sunset Blvd.
Eraserhead
Holy Mountain
And if they didn't exist, I could easily pick 20 more to replace them... Gates of Heaven, Casablanca, Princess Bride...
And what about Star Wars and the Empire Strikes Back???
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It's ironic that Trump has a gag order to prevent him from talking, since every time he does talk my brain sends a gag order to my stomach.
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"Time wounds all heels." -John Lennon
He died on this day in 1980, on Sinead O'Connor's 14th birthday.
I don't know where I got this. I don't think I wrote it.
"Ignaz Semmelweis advocated for washing hands, was universally ridiculed, and ended up in a insane asylum. Alfred Wegener introduce the idea of continental drift and was ridiculed. Joseph Lister promoted the idea of antiseptic surgery and was ridiculed. Sinead O'Connor tore up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live to raise awareness of Catholic Church sexual abuse. People wanted to kill her."
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Granted, I'm not the greatest economic mind of my generation. I'll admit that! But here's my opinion for a covid relief plan.
-$900 billion??? That's dumb. Let's make it a cool $1 trillion.
-There are 5 million businesses in the country, let's give them all $100,000. Big, small, screw it, all the same. For any company needing more than that, sorry you lived above your means. Should have saved better.
-There are 128 million households in the country, let's give them all $4,000. Need more? Fine. You now get $6,000 and the businesses above now get $50,000.
So with my two cents now we have $1 trillion and two cents. Let's get this done.
And if you disagree... I don't know, maybe you're right.
December 8, 2020
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Those still supporting Trump when no fraud is even being presented in court, and support his calls for legislators to subvert the election results, genuinely believe in Trump above democracy.
Those still supporting him remaining president, through some sort of divine right, might be happier before the Magna Carta, which ended the divine right of kings.
Those still supporting his ability to pardon himself, are hypocrites if they don't think Biden can strangle Trump at the inauguration and immediately pardon himself. One's belief that he can pardon himself and those in his circle, by definition means one thinks he can operate above the law.
Those who still think Trump is not the type of guy who would fraudulently claim voter fraud, must genuinely believe that Ted Cruz only won the 2016 Iowa caucus and Wisconsin primary through fraud, as Trump claimed several times on his Twitter feed at the time. (Is it more likely he simply claims fraud to protect his brand, whether he loses or not?)
Those still supporting the health policies that come out of his mouth and through his actions, over policies endorsed by his own health officials, truly believe in Trump above our own lives.
This is a true recipe for disaster.
For Trump, it's might vs right, no respect for anything, while having no limits, believing that no law applies to him, while not even having respect for life itself. Is it too much to hope that he's only coincidentally replacing all the top people at the Department of Defense?
When he said he could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue and wouldn't lose any supporters I didn't think it was a joke for a second. It's not true though. He would lose some supporters. Would he lose enough? Only a few?
Follow far right sites and you will discover pretty quickly that a significant percentage of his supporters feel disenfranchised, and they are going to take up arms. They are saying it. Believe them. If even only 1% of those who voted for him fit this description, we're talking about an army.
If there are 25% who would not take up arms, but are still supporting all this nonsense, they are feeding the fire. And again it bears repeating, there is no evidence for fraud. Don't take it from me though, take it from Trump's own Attorney General, election officials, Republican secretaries of state, and countless others who put the integrity of an election above a person.
It might be worth mentioning that just this week someone threatened to murder me for pointing out that simple truth.
The points above are not directed at "all" Trump supporters obviously, they're directed at "those" Trump supporters who still believe each of those items in a contradictory way that puts Trump above the country. Individual Trump supporters can decide if it applies to them.
The Constitution starts with "We, the People," which at that point has already lost Trump. His "we" only seems to extend to his family, or maybe just his genes. Has the Constitution lost his supporters? How many can see that occasionally they are in the minority of "the people?"
We're at a crossroads, and it's time for everybody to decide whether they believe in the ideals of the founders, or whether they believe in a person... a person who happens to be the most well-documented liar in all of history, one who his own former Chief of Staff called, "the most flawed person I've ever met in my life."
I would have thought that would be an easy decision, but apparently not.
December 8, 2020
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Did you hear that Ted Cruz wants to argue a case before the Supreme Court, asking them to toss out the votes of 7 million citizens? They're saying the state laws were unconstitutional. Shouldn't have this case been argued, oh, I don't know... BEFORE the election???
If he ever gets voted out of office I have the perfect job for him- Professional Goal Post Mover.
December 8, 2020
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In the song Here Comes Santa Claus, I always laugh at the line, "Santa Claus knows we're all God's children." I mean talk about mixing your metaphors!
I'm not being good for Santa Claus or for God. I'm being good for goodness' sake.
December 8, 2019
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Yesterday Zuzu told me that fake flowers will last forever. I said that's true, but they're made out of plastic, and plastic is made of dead dinosaurs. #daddydowner
December 8, 2019
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One of the arguments I often hear in support of Trump is some sort of variation of, "I don't think he's a good guy, he might be a bad guy, but I like that he's getting stuff done."
That reminds me of something that Siskel said about Ebert- "Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's my asshole."
The impeachment hearing testimony was damning, and I don't think anybody honestly believes the witnesses were perjuring themselves on the key facts- therefore, critical aid was withheld unless Ukraine announced an investigation into the president's #1 political rival, to brand him a criminal going into the 2020 election... i.e. a federal power grab for Trump's personal political gain, a clear abuse of power.
But he's their asshole!
December 8, 2019
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NO COLLUSION!!! ALRIGHT SOME COLLUSION!!! FINE, A LOT OF COLLUSION!!! NOTHING BUT COLLUSION!!! WITCH HUNT!!!
December 8, 2018
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The president is trying to get mileage out of this Jerusalem business... marketing himself as a promise-keeper, a truth-teller. Ignoring for the moment that Politifact tracks him as lying 71% of the time, it's good to remember a person can tell the truth and still make disastrous decisions for absurd reasons. More lies the better as far as I'm concerned with this bozo!
December 8, 2017
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The president is trying to get mileage out of this Jerusalem business... marketing himself as a promise-keeper, a truth-teller. Ignoring for the moment that Politifact tracks him as lying 71% of the time, it's good to remember a person can tell the truth and still make disastrous decisions for absurd reasons. More lies the better as far as I'm concerned with this bozo!
December 8, 2017
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Gretel made her most significant joke yet. First she tried to lay down on her pillow but accidentally banged her head on the wall and burst out crying. Then after she calmed down, she did it again! Then after she calmed down that time, she pretended that she did it a third time and laughed harder than ever.
December 8, 2016
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I just heard on Radio Smart Talk that human bones were found in the woods of Cumberland County that are estimated to have been there for 2 years. The host said that this is a nation of 300 million people and they could have belonged to anybody. Actually, we can realistically rule they don't belong to anybody who is not a gelatinous pile of goo. #morelikeradiodumbtalk #ishouldhostradiosmartasstalk #butyoudbebetterofflisteningtoradiosmarttalk
December 8, 2016
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What Trump is doing is extraordinary- redefining the Republican base without the support of the Republican hierarchy. Who knew what that Republican hierarchy was protecting us from?!
December 8, 2015
Postscript- I think this was my first Trump post, months before the 2016 Iowa Caucus. Remember that Iowa Caucus? Cruz won and Trump claimed fraud! Same with the 2016 general election, he said it was fraudulent if he lost and legit if he won. I didn't know it at the time but he was redefining the base to except the primary belief in the fraudulence of elections that he didn't win, casting himself as the eternal victim. Apparently, now he's even a victim of the Constitution he'd like to scrap... while simultaneously running for president, so he can swear an oath to protect it??? Too bad that his primary oath was sworn to protect his own ego.
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Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth (with Bill Moyers)
“MOYERS: What did you think of the outpouring over John Lennon’s death? Was he a hero?
CAMPBELL: Oh, he definitely was a hero.
MOYERS: Explain that in the mythological sense.
CAMPBELL: In the mythological sense, he was an innovator. The Beatles brought forth an art form for which there was a readiness. Somehow, they were in perfect tune with their time. Had they turned up thirty years before, their music would have fizzled out. The public hero is sensitive to the needs of his time. The Beatles brought a new spiritual depth into popular music which started the fad, let’s call it, for meditation and Oriental music. Oriental music had been over here for years, as a curiosity, but now, after the Beatles, our young people seem to know what it’s about. We are hearing more and more of it, and it’s being used in terms of its original intention as a support for meditations. That’s what the Beatles started.”
When Joseph Campbell can give a solid paragraph on what someone's life and death meant in terms of mythology and culture, they've really done something!
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That's not funny, is it?
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First case of COVID-19 was confirmed on this day in 2019 in China.
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The Roman poet Horace joined us on this day in 65BC.
"Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think."
It's like he's John Keating, sing for The Specials.
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Jim Morrison joined us on this day in 1943, in the middle of World War II.
"Where's your will to be weird?"
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Bill Bryson joined us on this day in 1951. I just recently discovered him and have been collecting all of his books used. From A Short History of Nearly Everything:
"Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result -- eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly -- in you."
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Possible triplets, Kim Basinger, Norman Finkelstein, and Sam Kinison, all joined us on this day in 1953.
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Kinison- "Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the fuck out of everybody!"
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Native American activist, John Trudell, left us on this day in 2015.
"All human beings are descendants of tribal people who were spiritually alive, intimately in love with the natural world, children of Mother Earth. When we were tribal people, we knew who we were, we knew where we were, and we knew our purpose. This sacred perception of reality remains alive and well in our genetic memory. We carry it inside of us, usually in a dusty box in the mind’s attic, but it is accessible."
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John Glenn left us on this day in 2016.
“If there is one thing I’ve learned in my years on this planet, it’s that the happiest and most fulfilled people I’ve known are those who devoted themselves to something bigger and more profound than merely their own self-interest."
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Kirk Douglas died at 100. No Kirk Douglas, no Stanley Kubrick. Paths of Glory is Kubrick's anti-war film. People think Full Metal Jacket is his anti-war film, but Full Metal Jacket is his film about the experience of being at War. This is the height of filmmaking. Gretel just asked me what was happening in this clip. I said that they are going to fight the bad guys, and the problem is that the bad guys think those guys are the bad guys. I told her that they are at war, and that is bad, but sometimes if the bad guys are bad enough, it's good to go to war against them. She said she wants to watch it again. It can't be watched enough.
https://youtu.be/Losv9hcfDTA
December 8, 2017
Postscript- As it turned out, he didn't!
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Ryan O'Neal left us on this day in 2023, star of two of my favorite films from the '70s- Paper Moon and Barry Lyndon. They say he had some issues. Well you know what they say.
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Other notable birthdays- Eli Whitney (1765), James Thurber (1894), Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925), Flip Wilson (1933)
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Other notable deathdays- Tris Speaker (1958), Slim Pickens (1983)
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NPR- How a death tax would work
It's big and bold, and adjusting the numbers can enable us to afford practically anything while affecting only 100k or so people (the one who can afford to be affected.) Not simple though, many variables. Do voters tend to be reformers or revolutionaries? And can the enthusiasm at one end of the political spectrum eclipse the lack of enthusiasm in the middle? That's a mischaracterization of the issue though. I recommend the entire article but this was the takeaway paragraph for me:
"A wealth tax polls very well — including among Republicans. In July, a poll from the New York Times and Survey Monkey found that two-thirds of all Americans, including 55% of Republicans, approved of a 2% wealth tax on all people with wealth over $50 million."
https://www.npr.org/2019/12/05/782135614/how-would-a-wealth-tax-work
December 8, 2019
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Socrates- "The Delphic Oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone of all the Greeks know that I know nothing."
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Steinbeck- "All great and precious things are lonely."
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Churchill- "I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
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Twain- "If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
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Didion- "I closed the box and put it in a closet. There is no real way to deal with everything we lose."
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Vonnegut- “We’ll go down in history as the first society that wouldn’t save itself because it wasn’t cost-effective.”
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Sagan- "Your religion assumes that people are children and need a boogeyman so they'll behave. You want people to believe in God so they'll obey the law. That's the only means that occurs to you: a strict secular police force, and the threat of punishment by an all-seeing God for whatever the police overlook. You sell human beings short."
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John Stewart- "Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion."
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Sarah Silverman- "I was a bedwetter well into my teens, and when you're a bedwetter there's only one group you can feel better than- bedshitters. And unfortunately they are hard to come by."
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Churchill- "A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, then asks you not to kill him."
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Twain- "If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."
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Woody Allen- "I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable."
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Voltaire- "It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere."
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Glenn again- “There are times when you devote yourself to a higher cause than personal safety.”
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Don't know where this came from:
I really don’t owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology. I’ve been critical of the Trump presidency these last several years, and am still exhausted from the experience. But to be fair, President Trump wasn’t that bad…………..other than when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fucked up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.
But other than that. . . 🤷🏻♀️
Plz copy and paste.
Whoever wrote this deserves credit but I don't know who it is. And don’t forget - took many classified & top secret documents with him when he left the White House, many of which have not been recovered & may have been auctioned to the highest bidder. And he said that some pieces of the Constitution should be scrapped so that he can be reinstalled.
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Steven Wright:
"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before."
"I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. Suppose you are in a space bus traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights. Does anything happen?" He said, "How should I know?" I said, "Forget it, I don't want to work for you."
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Why don't they just make mouse flavored cat food.
Addendum
Myspace Blog
December 8, 2006
Scatological Bible Humor
It's official. I have a new favorite Bible verse.
And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, "I have a message from God for you." And he arose from his seat. And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.
Judges 3:20-22
That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. I looked it up several places to make sure I got it right. Some wrote "the dirt came out" and others wrote "the refuse came out." They're each funny in their own way but they don't touch the "dung coming out" with a ten foot pole. (By the way, using a ten foot pole is the only way I'd suggest touching the dung coming out... and that's if you have to touch it at all.) Other places simply cut out the messy detail altogether. Come on guys, it's the word of God! Quit worrying about your half million dollar FCC fines. God thought it was important that we all know that the dung came out. For some reason. We shouldn't judge. He works in mysterious ways... profane, blasphemous, mysterious ways.
Now I don't feel so bad about laughing earlier at this gem from Al Franken's book "Oh the Things I Know":
"The effect of laughter is more than just psychological. When you laugh, your body releases endorphins, and every so often, if you laugh really hard, a small amount of diarrhea."
Until now I didn't think there was a such thing as a holy joke. Check your underpants for the proof.
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