A Day For a Variety of Veterans
Kurt Vonnegut would have turned 100 today! Here he is remembering his friend Joseph Heller.
JOE HELLER
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22′
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace.
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If someone dies who you don't like, say, "We'll they are in a better place, and so are we."
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This Texas school mask mandate ruling, and really any nonsense having to do with Texas, reminds me of what historian Shelby Foote said in Ken Burns' Civil War- that the war changed us from an "are" to an "is." In daily speech before the Civil War people used to say "The United States are..." and afterward they said "The United States is..." We went from a collection of states to a unified nation, fulfilling the promise of the Constitution. A state can try to do any dumbass thing they want but they are held to the same Constitutional standard as the others by the federal courts. For anyone who disagrees, I have a segregated school in Alabama I'd like to sell you.
November 11, 2021
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After losing a California state Senate seat in 1966, Dick Tuck conceded with this assertion- “the people have spoken—the bastards!”
In other news, there was once a California state Senator named Dick Tuck. I wonder who he lost to...
November 11, 2020
Postscript- Mapuusi Anmakrak?
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We were at a graveyard over the weekend and happened to find a Civil War veteran's grave with the same last name as some of our ancestors. Turns out he is Gretel and Zuzu's great-great-great-great-great uncle.
There are cultures that believe that first people's body dies, and they die again the last time their name their name is spoken. So I'll wish him a happy Veteran's Day- Urias Weidman.
November 11, 2020
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OKAY... so a second group of international election observers say there's no evidence of fraud. A postal employee who signed an affidavit claiming fraud, took it back. Trump is 0 for 12 in court cases alleging fraud. Before the election, Trump claimed that it was fraudulent, but only if he lost. This means Trump would claim fraud due to him losing, not due to their actually being fraud, which appears to be exactly what is happening. Trump has admitted that he's not a good loser, which of course we all know.
We can all see what's going on here right? A conspiracy theory! The majority of voters in enough states that add up to 270 electoral votes conspired against Trump to elect Biden.
Time to move on, and let Trump's fragile ego survive as best as it can on its own. If there's no solid evidence by now, it must be dismissed.
November 11, 2020
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If I follow Trump's logic on his perfect call... he was just trying to root out corruption in general, and the person he mentioned specifically (out of the 350 million of us) just happens to be his #1 political rival. Man, what are the odds???
November 11, 2019
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We had a party for Gretel's fifth birthday tonight. At one point I walked over to her and three friends while they were jumping on a trampoline. Gretel said, "Hey dad, what are you doing, just walking around?" They all burst out laughing at me. Come on, how could have that zinger landed so well?!
November 11, 2018
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I heard someone say, maybe Bill Burr... by the time this wall is built, it might be keeping us in.
November 11, 2016
Postscript- BTW, this is so funny, Bill Burr telling Conan about different times he laughed inappropriately.
https://youtu.be/w6XdCKjRMFw
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Emma- <3 Happy 20th anniversary of our first date, Ben Kreider! <3
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I'm not often impressed by tattoos, but...
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Tycho Brahe observed the supernova SN 1572 on this date in 1572.
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On this day in 1674, Gottfried Leibniz demonstrated integral calculus for the first time to find the area under the graph of y = ƒ(x).
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The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated by US President Warren G. Harding at Arlington National Cemetery on this day in 1921. I once spent a rainy afternoon watching videos of people trying to fuck with the guards, and all the training the guards go through. It's more difficult to become a guard at the tomb than become an astronaut. I didn't mention it, don't fuck with the guards.
https://youtu.be/rH0eyfLQvqM
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Adolf Hitler was arrested in Munich for high treason for his role in the Beer Hall Putsch on this day in 1923.
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In a propaganda ceremony in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, on this day in 1967, three American prisoners of war were released by the Viet Cong and turned over to "new left" antiwar activist Tom Hayden.
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Fyodor Dostoevsky joined us on this day in 1821.
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."
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Say what you will about Leonardo DiCaprio, but he's one of the best actors of our generation. He was born on this day in 1974, when I was in 10 month old baby, considering walking for the first time. Before he was widely known, my landlord at the time told me I looked like the retarded kid from What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
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Benjamin Tod- Using Again
"I wish I was who I appeared, because I despise the man in the mirror."
https://youtu.be/NACMpkxm-fA
He was born on this day in 1990. I mostly love this song, but I kind of hate it too.
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Slave and rebel leader, Nat Turner, left us on this day in 1831.
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Søren Kierkegaard left us on this day in 1855.
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use."
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No kidding- Sloth and I gave Richard Ramirez (The Night Stalker) a ride to get fuel today.
November 11, 2009
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A Tribute to the Native Americans on Veterans Day
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5zw_7zmwso
November 11, 2010
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Abondoned Six Flags New Orleans Tour
https://youtu.be/Bcja8UBtXdk
November 11, 2010
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The Miller-Urey Experiment
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller–Urey_experiment
The fact that we're descended from monkeys is nothing... go back far enough and we're descended from CHEMISTRY!
November 11, 2013
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For Emma, on the 20th anniversary of our first date. (Her church bell heartbeat was all I heard.)
https://youtu.be/gbW0UV7ebHE
November 11, 2015
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Question: What effect would electing Donald Trump have?
Chomsky: It’s hard to say because we don’t really know what he thinks. And I’m not sure he knows what he thinks. He’s perfectly capable of saying contradictory things at the same time. But there are some pretty stable elements of his ideology, if you can even grant him that concept. One of them is: “Climate change is not taking place.” As he puts it: “Forget it.” And that’s almost a death knell for the species – not tomorrow, but the decisions we take now are going to affect things in a couple of decades, and in a couple of generations it could be catastrophic.
November 11, 2016
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New York Times Editorial Board- Denounce the Hate, Mr. Trump
This is a bellwether moment for Trump. His current silence is implicit support.
"In his victory speech early Wednesday morning, Donald Trump pledged that he “will be president for all Americans,” and he asked those who did not support him “for your guidance and your help so that we can work together and unify our great country.”
Here’s some guidance right off the bat, Mr. President-elect: Those sentiments will have more force if you immediately and unequivocally repudiate the outpouring of racist, sexist, xenophobic, anti-Semitic and homophobic insults, threats and attacks being associated with your name. Do this in a personal plea to people who supported your candidacy. Tell them this is not what you stand for, nor is it what your new administration will tolerate."
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/11/opinion/denounce-the-hate-mr-trump.html
November 11, 2016
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Vonnegut:
"As a member of a zippier generation, with sparkle in its eyes and a snap in its stride, let me tell you what kept us as high as kites a lot of the time: hatred. All my life I’ve had people to hate — from Hitler to Nixon, not that those two are at all comparable in their villainy. It is a tragedy, perhaps, that human beings can get so much energy and enthusiasm from hate. If you want to feel ten feet tall and as though you could run a hundred miles without stopping, hate beats pure cocaine any day. Hitler resurrected a beaten, bankrupt, half-starved nation with hatred and nothing more. Imagine that. The members of your graduating class are not sleepy, are not listless, are not apathetic. They are simply performing the experiment of doing without hate. Hate is the missing vitamin or mineral or whatever in their diet, they have sensed correctly that hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide."
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Oh my, this was hilarious, Bill Burr on nothing changing when Trump becomes president. Funny for everyone.
https://youtu.be/OjNgm7TgsgA
November 11, 2016
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Alternet- Marsha Blackburn roasted for invoking 'Jesus' to bash Trump impeachment — but actually quoting Shakespeare instead
Steve Vladeck, a law professor at the University of Texas, saw Blackburn’s tweet and responded, “It wasn’t Jesus who ‘warned us’ about the lawyers; it was Shakespeare, in Henry IV, Part II. Second, his point was that lawyers are an obstacle to a ruler who wants to consolidate government power and undermine the rule of law. Sound like anyone you know?”
https://www.alternet.org/2019/11/marsha-blackburn-roasted-for-invoking-jesus-to-bash-trump-impeachment-but-actually-quoting-shakespeare-instead/
November 11, 2019
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The Hill- ABC’s Raddatz: ‘Is the president planning a military operation?’
In the spirit of reconciliation a week ago I gave Trump an honest compliment... he hasn't taken us to war, and I see that as a fulfillment of his campaign promise.
But what we're seeing now is very concerning. On Friday he terminated the head of the National Nuclear Security Administration. Then on Monday he terminated the Secretary of Defense. He was a largely seen as a Trump stooge but when he left, he said that if the next person is a yes man, "God help us." That was followed by a flurry of other people resigning. He has signaled that he's going to terminate the directors of the CIA and FBI. This raises a question of paramount importance... what is he telling them to do that they are not doing??? Add his refusal to concede in the face of an election loss, and our enemies are reading loud and clear that now is a perfect time for them to attack us. Buckle up!
http://hill.cm/yra6Bwm
November 11, 2020
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The Hill- John Bolton accuses GOP of ‘coddling’ Trump while he ‘trashes the US electoral system’
Nobody snapped up my billion dollar idea from the other day- blue MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hats. (My offer still stands, steal it and just give me 10%, or none, whatever you like.)
My new billion dollar idea is a 24-hour News Channel called Duh News. It'll be filled 24 hours a day with news stories like this where people state the obvious but for some reason 20% of the country doesn't yet agree. After each segment the anchor looks at the camera like Mr. Roper and says, "Duh!"
http://hill.cm/TTd66ST
November 11, 2020
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Gallagher died today.
If you water it and it dies, it’s a plant. If you pull it out and it grows back, it’s a weed.
If your knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like?
Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra.
Is Gallagher funny? Read this one, and you be the judge.
I would like now to talk about the Japanese, a race of very short people who are always bending in half. You can't make an honest business deal with them because you can't look em' in the eye. I don't believe any group of people should be able to build a car they can't pronounce. I'm talking of course about the 'Cororra'.
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Vonnegut advice for writers
1. Find a subject you care about
2. Do not ramble
3. Keep it simple
4. Have the guts to cut
5. Sound like yourself
6. Say what you mean to say
7. Pity the readers
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Casey was showing me the app he uses to help his son with math problems. He asked me to write a problem on my whiteboard while he went to grab his phone. When he came in, he saw that I had written, "√69 = ate something." We had a laugh, and a few days later he came back in my office for something, and realized that it was still written on my whiteboard. Whoops!
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More Ebaum's World- 28 Things You've Probably Never Thought About
You see people every day that you'll never see again in your life.
You have never seen your actual face, only in pictures and reflections.
The Turritipsis Dohnrii jellyfish is able to revert to an earlier stage of its development cycle in order to cheat death.
The oldest person on Earth was born with a completely different set of humans.
100 years from now Facebook is going to be filled with dead people.
This is the type of thing I think about constantly.
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The Sufis ask, can I be who I am before I was?
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A question from Errol Morris- "If you give Abraham Lincoln a face transplant and then take his picture, who is it a picture of?"
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Dalai Lama- "As human beings we have intelligence and courage. Provided we use these
qualities, we will be able to achieve what we set out to do."
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Tom Waits:
No one cares what it's all for,
you'll be buried in the clothes
that you've never wore…
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Norm Macdonald- "Many times SNL would have a very handsome dramatic actor on as a host. An actor who was convinced he was funny. Women are attracted to funny men, it is often said. This is not true. It only appears this way because women laugh at everything a very handsome man says."
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Campbell- "The first step to the knowledge of the wonder and mystery of life is the recognition of the monstrous nature of the earthly human realm as well as its glory, the realization that this is just how it is and that it cannot and will not be changed. Those who think they know how the universe could have been had they created it, without pain, without sorrow, without time, without death, are unfit for illumination."
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Sagan- "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."
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Samuel Beckett:
"Ever tried. Ever failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail again. Fail better."
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Yogi Berra - "If you don't know where you're going, you might wind up somewhere else."
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Vonnegut again- November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, and when Dwayne Hoover was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month. It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind. Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not."
Addendum
Here are some magnificent excerpts from Sam Harris podcast on Trump.
Sam Harris's latest podcast. So well put, cathartic. Here are portions:
"Well, it has come to pass. President Trump, a man who many of us treated as a buffoon and only took seriously as a threat at the eleventh hour, will be the forty-fifth president of the United States, with a Republican Congress behind him, and at least one vacancy, probably more, on the Supreme Court to fill.
So…what went wrong? And how bad is this?
Well, I think there are two parts to this story. First is unambiguously depressing, and this is the part that has been seized on by most liberals. But it’s only half the story, and it is this: Trump has ascended to power despite showing every sign of being dangerously unfit for it and by exposing in himself and in the electorate the worst that America has to offer: racism, sexism, antisemitism, a contempt for the most vulnerable among us, intimations of fascism, a positive love of bullying, total disdain for our democratic institutions, a willingness to make threats of political violence just for the fun of it, a contempt for science, and a love of conspiracy theories. I mean, I could run through it all again, the crazy things he’s said and the toxic alliances he’s made.
The irony is: If he had been merely half as bad, he would have seemed worse. He would have been more recognizably dangerous. But there were so many awful moments that the media couldn’t focus on them for long enough, or weigh their significance. And the big things were as big as they get, right? “Climate change is a hoax.” “Why can’t we use our nuclear weapons?” “Maybe nuclear proliferation is a good thing. Let the Saudis and the Japanese and the South Koreans build their own nukes.” “Who’s to say we should support our NATO alliances? What have they done for us?” “Putin is a great leader.” “Maybe we should just default on our debt, cut a better deal.” Any one of those things should have ended it.
But of course, the little things were just as weird, and should have been just as disqualifying. I mean, we have just elected a president who has bragged about invading the dressing rooms of beauty pageant contestants, so that he could see them naked, when they were effectively his employees—he owned the pageant. And then he even bullied some of these young women publicly, some on social media in the wee hours of the morning while campaigning for the presidency. And then he denied doing any of these things when no denial was even possible. We had all seen his tweets. And in response to the astonishment of the media, he looked the American people in the eye, and said, “No one respects women more than I do. No one.” And half the country accepted that as, what, the truth? As good theatre? As sketch comedy? I mean, there are really no words to describe how far from normal we have drifted here."
"I always had a bad feeling about the election, and that’s why I talked about it so much on this podcast. I could tell that Hillary’s flaws as a candidate were causing people to ignore Trump’s flaws as a human being. Well, we’re about to find out how high a price we and the rest of the world will pay for that."
"All of these things contributed to her loss and to the rise of Trump. So the question now is, How do we move forward, having declared the next president to be an absolute jackass and a sexual predator and, as I said in a previous podcast, a liar of a sort one would only expect to find in a mental hospital? How do we move from making jokes about placing the nuclear codes in the hands of a dangerous narcissist to actually placing the nuclear codes into his hands? Well, I’m afraid we just do. And we hope that this man who appears to lie about everything has also been lying about how awful a person he is. Let’s hope he isn’t who he has seemed to be. Let’s hope that he really is a cipher. Let’s hope that he was only pretending not to believe in climate change. Let’s hope that he was only pretending to admire Vladimir Putin. Let’s hope that he was only pretending to believe the sorts of conspiracy theories that helped get him elected. Let’s hope he really is a conman without any core commitments other than to maintain his own fame and glory. Because then there’s a chance that knowledgeable people might be able to influence him."
"I thought President Obama struck the right note yesterday. We all must hope for Trump’s success at this point. We want his presidency to be a good one. It’s as if we’re all on an airplane together, and the real pilot has died, and now a man who has never flown an airplane has taken the controls and is attempting an emergency landing, and we’re all stuck in the back of the plane. So we’re rooting for the man in the cockpit. Of course, before he got his hands on the controls, some of us complained about how unqualified he was. There were a few other people back here with a lot of time spent flying planes, but this guy stormed the cockpit, and now he’s in the pilot seat, and the runway is in view, and we are out of time. So, let’s hope he’s talking to the people in air traffic control. But the problem, of course, is that it actually matters who’s in the tower. Just think about who Trump has surrounded himself with: Rudi Giuliani, Chris Christie, Sarah Palin, Mike Pence—this is a clown car of ideologues and incompetents, with a couple of religious maniacs thrown in. Again, we want him to land this plane, and it doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t matter if we all wind up covered in vomit. We will be grateful just to be alive. And I will be very grateful if after four years Donald Trump hasn’t set back human progress a generation."
"Is there a historical or psychological precedent for this? I have no idea. But we’re about to find out what happens to a man with a famously, palpably, visibly unhealthy ego who suddenly triumphs over everyone who ever doubted him. This was a man when he voted in New York at his polling place got jeered by a crowd on Tuesday, in a city that voted 87% against him. And one day he’s going to ride back into town on Air Force One.
Imagine the way his ego feels right now. Just imagine the satisfaction Trump will feel when he takes possession of the White House and shows President Obama the door. The first black president who humiliated him in front of all the Washington elites at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. (Go watch footage of that.) All those laughs at his expense. Trump has been a punchline for decades. He’s been the Rodney Dangerfield of billionaires. But that moment with Obama at the podium was the worst. And now he gets to tell Barack Hussein Obama to get out of his house, and then tear his legacy to shreds. You’ve got the first black president being shown the door by a man who always questioned his legitimacy in racist terms and who has now been officially endorsed by the KKK. Only Shakespeare could do this moment justice."
https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/the-most-powerful-clown/
November 11, 2016
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