Vasily Arkhipov- The Most Important Human In All Of History, Plus Matters of Inconsequence

On this day in 1962, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, Russian naval officer Vasily Arkhipov refused a direct order to fire a nuclear torpedo at a US warship, very likely avoiding a wide scale thermonuclear war. 

I've had his name written on a Post-It note on my desk for years as reminder that resistance to authority brings with it the possibility of saving the world, and that we need to strive to analyze every decision we are about to make in every moment divorced from dogma.

For all we know, we owe our lives to him.

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Baseball is a sport that keeps you humble. The Braves got too cocky and the Phillies beat them. Then the Phillies got too cocky and the Diamondbacks beat them. Now the Diamondbacks are cocky, which gives me somebody to root for in the World Series. I'd love to see the Rangers win, but of course Texas in general isn't usually a model of humility.

October 27, 2023

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Amish aphorism of the day- "What got you here, will not get you there."

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Cunk On Earth:

What's ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter was he was actually named after the two words you're most likely to shout after hitting your thumb with a hammer. Scholars believe he was a real historical figure, like Justin Timberlake or Garfield. Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see... they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.

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I just realized something plain bizarre about Trump mocking all of the Covid coverage. (A 9-11 every few days does seem somehow newsworthy, but that's beside the point.) He keeps saying things like, "Watch, on November 4th, you're not going to hear anything about it anymore."

Catch that? He's assuming that Biden is going to win!

October 27, 2020

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Conventional wisdom in general election is that you solidify your base and go for the Independents and moderates from the other side. Since Trump has no wisdom, he's decided to solidify his base and try to suppress the votes of the opposition, under the ruse of nonexistent voter fraud.

They always say that there's a greater "possibility" of voter fraud. You know, like how having banks leads to a greater possibility of bank robberies.

Instead of looking for more voters, he has focused on more judges, who he wants to decide the race. Instead of running against Biden, he's running against the election. 

But don't take it from me, he spilled the Goya beans himself months ago. 

Trump griped that the Democratic plan to deal with pandemic voting would "lead to levels of voting, that if you'd agree to it you'd never have a Republican elected in this country again."

He said the secret part out loud- to remain in power, they need to make it harder for their opposition to vote, and harder the better. They wouldn't tolerate that from Democrats, and their intolerance would be justified.

October 27, 2020

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Alright dawdlers, quit dawdling! Get that ballot in the mail, or better yet drop it off at a drop box! I don't make many demands, but do it!

*If you are in California, don't drop it in one of those fake drop boxes. Consider voting for the party that didn't put them up.

October 27, 2020

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If you have Netflix and haven't watched Adam Sandler's new stand up special, do yourself a favor and watch it. Let me take a step back... if you liked his songs on Saturday Night Live, do yourself a favor and watch it. And even if you hate him, you still need to see his song about Chris Farley.

October 27, 2018

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Emma had a worldclass idea for a Halloween costume for our baby. I'm not going to tell you what it was, but it involves the world's most popular ethical dilemma.

October 27, 2016

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Just started a 40 hour audiobook, a biography on James Joyce. After a half hour drive to work, I didn't make it past the introduction and acknowledgments.

October 27, 2015

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I'm playing Metaphors with Razzles, my blind cat. She was chasing her tail in circles around the living room, caught it, let it go, swiped at another cat but bonked her head on the coffee table. Best one yet Razzles! It was "The 2012 election."

October 27, 2012

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Maybe in ancient times there weren't just cave paintings, maybe every square inch of the landscape was painted but the cave paintings are the only thing that lasted. Today we paint the landscape with advertisements. We should put some advertisements in caves so future people will know a bit about us.

October 27, 2012

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Entropy is nature's hatred... always busting stuff up and tearing stuff apart.

October 27, 2012

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Rebel Without a Cause was released on this day in 1955.

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I was at the fourth game of the World Series on this day in 2008!

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Theodore Roosevelt was born on this day in 1858.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

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Hall of Famer, Ralph Kiner, was born on this day in 1922. He would have been 100 years old today.

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Sushi master, Jiro Ono, joined us on this day in 1925. He's still alive at 98.

I think about Jiro Dreams of Sushi all the time. A perfect model for diving into your work and stopping at nothing in a quest for perfection.

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Nixon's Chief of Staff, H. R. Haldeman, was born on this day in 1926.

"Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in."

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Born on this day in 1939, John Cleese. 

"Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted."

And now for something completely different.

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Fran Lebowitz joined us on this day in 1950.

When Toni Morrison said 'write the book you want to read,' she didn't mean everybody.

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Lou Reed left us on this day in 2013.

"I always believed that I have something important to say and I said it."

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The Onion- Today Particularly Rough Day For East Village Junkie Transvestite

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Recipe- Meat Hand

http://www.notmartha.org/archives/2009/10/27/meat-hand/

October 27, 2009

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Yes, I consider myself an optical illusion enthusiast.

https://youtu.be/E9I-Onwfqpo

October 27, 2010

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Pumpkin Carving With a Glock 23

Maybe the creepiest pumpkin I've ever seen.

https://youtu.be/qGH8Af9Hdb0

October 27, 2010

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Are you going gentle into that good night? How do you know? Would it be better to go gentle?

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15377

October 27, 2010

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Trouble... a genuine fascist is about to win the election in Brazil. Calls for our State Department to denounce him are so far met with silence.

https://youtu.be/FsZ3p9gOkpY

October 27, 2018

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This sketch crosses my mind every time I look in the fridge for some cheese. Happy birthday to John Cleese, born on this day in 1939.

https://youtu.be/Hz1JWzyvv8A

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Great interview!

How did I never know about Trump's tweets after Romney lost in 2012??? They tell the future. He was on his way to what he thought was going to be a Romney victory party but instead hopped on his plane and left. He was all grumpy about the electoral college.

“Lets fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.”

“This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!”

“Our country is now in serious and unprecedented trouble...like never before.”

“Our nation is a once great nation divided!”

“He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country!” 

“More votes equals a loss … revolution!”

Of course Obama won both the electoral college, and the popular vote. And Hillary would have also won the popular vote if it weren't for those millions of pesky foreigners he tasked Pence with finding, haha. This guy is nothing more than the personification of outrage, manufacturing his own controversies.

https://www.npr.org/2023/10/23/1207962313/mitt-romney-biographer-offers-a-startling-account-of-dysfunction-in-the-senate

October 27, 2023

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Neil deGrasse Tyson- "If your Personal Beliefs deny what’s objectively true about the world, then they're more accurately called Personal Delusions."

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Lebowitz again- "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."

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John Locke- "The only defense against the world is a thorough knowledge of it."

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Steven Pinker, Rationality: "The recent cliche that we're living in a Post-Truth Era cannot be true. If it were true, then it would not be true, because it would be asserting something true about the era in which we are living."

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Hannah Arendt, The Human Condition- "The human condition is such that pain and effort are not just symptoms which can be removed without changing life itself; they are the modes in which life itself, together with the necessity to which it is bound, makes itself felt. For mortals, the easy life of the gods would be a lifeless life."

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Cleese again- "The idea that you have to be protected from any kind of uncomfortable emotion is what I absolutely do not subscribe to."

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Nietzsche- "A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."

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Norm Macdonald:

In school there was a fella named Dirty Johnny. He was always a trouble maker the teachers never liked him. One day in class the teacher is doing a thing we’re the kids raise their hands to tell a story and then say what the moral is of that story. So a girl raises her hand

The teacher says “Yes Becky, go ahead.”

Becky says “My dad works for the hatchery and one day he put 15 eggs in a basket and rode home. They all fell and broke.”

The teacher says “Now what’s the moral in that?”

Becky says “To not put all your eggs in one basket”

The teacher says, “Now, that’s a good one, Maureen, yes go ahead."

Maureen says “My grandpa works for the Hatchery (Thank god for hatchery or we’d all be lost) one day he counted all his chickens that didn’t hatch and some of them ended up breaking at the end of the day."

The teacher says “Now what’s the moral of that”

Maureen says “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch”

Teacher says “Damn that’s a good one”

Then she sees Dirty Johnny with his hand up and thinks “My god, not him. I don’t want to do it but I made a oath when I became a teacher”

She says “Yes, go ahead Dirty Johnny”

Dirty Johnny stands up and starts talking “This story is about my uncle Terry, he never worked at the damn hatchery, he was in Vietnam in Danae. He was not well liked by anyone including his fellow soldiers. You may have heard of a man deserting his troop but have you ever heard of a troop abandoning a man? That’s what happened to my Uncle Terry. They left him with three bottles of scotch and some weapons. He downed the first bottle right away. So uncle Terry gets up grabs his bottles and a Glock. He walked to a town, he didn’t know if it was Charlie or one he was suppose to protect, but uncle Terry had hate in his gut, he took another drink from his bottle. So like a farmer would with hay and a scythe he started mowing everything down. First the men fell, then the women, and god damn I’m ashamed to say it but the children too. Then he felt his pants, they were wet and Uncle Terry felt shame as he pissed himself. Then he felt it again, and realized he didn’t urinate but ejaculated, and Uncle Terry felt pride were shame once was.”

The teacher says, “Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you, what’s the moral in that!?”

Johnny says, “Well when Uncle Terry been drinking you don’t fuck with him.”

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