Oozy Rat In a Sanitary Zoo, and the Prayer-Peekers

The second I saw the David S. Pumpkin skit, I knew it was one for the ages. You don't have too many Atlantic articles written on Saturday Night Live skits. How did they do it? A gem.

The Joy of David S. Pumpkins, by David Sims

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2016/10/david-pumpkins-snl/505226/

October 26, 2016

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My favorite victimless crime is peeking around during a prayer to find my prayer-peeking brethren. If you've never heard of this phenomenon, take a peek sometime and you'll find us. We were there all along.

October 26, 2021

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Bryce Harper, NLCS MVP interview, after hitting possibly the greatest home run in history of the Phillies organization, one that ended up sending them to the 2022 World Series.

"It's Phillies, man. It's Philly, man. They hate you. You know, like the other team, on the other side, they can't stand you. You know, unless you're wearing Phillies red, or you're a Philly, they don't like you, you know. And I love that. I loved coming in as an opposing player knowing I was going to get blasted by these fans. And it was what it was. And I loved it. It made me want to come here to play, because I knew how much they love their players and how much they cared, and I knew how much passion they have, how much drive they all have. Everybody talks about the blue collarness of this city and the fight that they have, and it just rubs off on all of us. I've said it multiple times, you know, if we have 46,000 in the stadium, that's 46,026 because we're all in this together no matter what, where they're at, who they are, where they come from. If you got Phillies across your chest and you're a fan, you're part of our team, you're part of her organization, and you fight with us each day."

https://youtu.be/0MLzkrubz6Y

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Constitutional Originalists must be haunted by the fact that there's no line in the Constitution requiring it to be interpreted according to the original intent vs adapting to changing times. 

To pick a non-controvertial example- guns!

October 26, 2020

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Zinger.

Buttigieg- "When Donald Trump said his health care plan is “like nothing you’ve ever seen before” he was half right; we still haven't seen it. It's been 'two weeks' away for years."

October 26, 2020

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Gretel did the strangest thing tonight while she was going to sleep. She was laying in bed and said, "Now I'm going to add 10 + 10 + 3." Maybe 10 seconds later she said the answer was 23. I asked her how she did it and she said she was counting on her fingers under the covers but wasn't looking at them- she was "counting the fingers in my head." Huh, wow. Then she said she was going to do 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 3. Maybe 30 seconds later she said the answer was 53. So she was counting on her fingers in her head which were under her covers while also keeping track of how many tens she counted. It seemed like a lot to be going on in 5-year-old's head, I was impressed.

October 26, 2019

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Gretel often asks what my favorite of something is. I always tell her some version of this Zen story, haha.

Everything is Best 

When Banzan was walking through a market he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. 

'Give me the best piece of meat you have,' said the customer. 

'Everything in my shop is the best,' replied me butcher. "You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best.' 

At these words Banzan became enlightened.

October 26, 2018

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All right, this bomber... looks like he's insane judging by that crazy van. But is anybody who takes Trump literally with his enemy-of-the-people and lock-them-up rhetoric also insane?

October 26, 2018

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I have a kidney stone, which as far as I'm concerned proves the argument for unintelligent design.

October 26, 2017

Postscript- It wasn't a kidney stone, it was some fused insides from my appendectomy. And guess what, it got better. In the moment though, my god, I'd have a brief second of a fluttery feeling and then it felt like I made a mistake in a Friday the 13th movie. Once I was in an interview, and almost freaked out in pain.

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When it comes to tax breaks, we now know what Trump and the Republicans would do- give million dollar tax cuts to billionaires. These guys wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, ask what would Jesus do, and then spend the rest of the day doing the exact opposite! If they really want to give the money to billionaires the least they could do is give it to us to invest in the billionaire's companies. Why give it to billionaires directly when so many are struggling? Simple answer is their new motto- Billionaires First!

October 26, 2017

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Zerbe dressed up as me on this day in 2013.

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Every morning as we're walking up to her school, Gretel has me check her mouth to make sure it isn't dirty. It's the cutest thing, her beautiful face, total reliance on me.

October 26, 2022

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On this day in 1813, yet somehow in the War of 1812, a combined force of British regulars, Canadian militia and Mohawks defeat the United States Army in the Battle of the Chateauguay. Sounds like a cartoon or something.

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On this day in 1881- The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona. Wyatt, Virgil, Morgan Earp and Doc Holliday left three of their rivals dead in a 30 second shootout. This event formed the basis of my favorite movie, My Darling Clementine, and became a symbol of sorts of order coming to the untamed West. I think I might watch it tonight.

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Lawyer and politician, 67th United States Secretary of State and 44th First Lady of the United States, and famously failed presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton was born on this day in 1947.

"If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle."

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Seth MacFarlane was born on this day in 1973.

"This is life, the one you get so go and have a ball, because the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have my opening statement..sit ubu sit. Good dog."

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Elizabeth Cady Stanton left this one this day in 1902.

"The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls."

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Charles Comiskey left this one to stay in 1931.

"It is the small things in life which count; it is the inconsequential leak which empties the biggest reservoir."

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The Marginalian- Mark Twain on Racism, How Religion Is Used to Justify Injustice, and What His Mother Taught Him About Compassion

Here he is with John T. Lewis, who may have inspired Jim in Huck Finn

http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/10/24/mark-twain-on-slavery-empathy-compassion

October 26, 2014

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Consider not clicking this link. Consider it very carefully. My advice is to get up, turn away, and forget we even had this conversation. You've been warned.

http://mvp.to/1sKb16F

October 26, 2014

Postscript- Link is broken, DAMN! What was it???

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Andrew Gillam- “[DeSantis] has got neo-nazis helping him out in this state, he has spoken at racist conferences, he’s accepted a contribution—and would not return it—from someone who referred to the former president of the United States as a ‘Muslim n****r.’ When asked to return that money he said, ‘No.’ He’s using that money to now fund negative ads. Now, I’m not calling Mr. DeSantis a racist, I’m simply saying the racists believe he’s a racist.”

October 26, 2018

Postscript- Too bad he had such a fall from grace. DeSantis started at the bottom.

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Psychology Today article from 2012 listing 50 traits of dangerous cult leaders... or in other words, current events. Scan through.

He has a grandiose idea of who he is and what he can achieve.

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or brilliance.

Demands blind, unquestioned obedience.

Requires excessive admiration from followers and outsiders.

Has a sense of entitlement—expecting to be treated as special at all times.

Is exploitative of others by asking for their money or that of relatives, putting others at financial risk.

Is arrogant and haughty in his behavior or attitude.

Has an exaggerated sense of power (entitlement) that allows him to bend rules and break laws.

Takes sexual advantage of members of his sect or cult.

Sex is a requirement with adults and sub adults as part of a ritual or rite.

Is hypersensitive to how he is seen or perceived by others.

Publicly devalues others as being inferior, incapable, or not worthy.

Makes members confess their sins or faults, publicly subjecting them to ridicule or humiliation while revealing exploitable weaknesses of the penitent.

Has ignored the needs of others, including: biological, physical, emotional, and financial needs.

Is frequently boastful of accomplishments.

Needs to be the center of attention and does things to distract others to ensure that he or she is being noticed, e.g., by arriving late, using exotic clothing, overdramatic speech, or by making theatrical entrances.

Has insisted on always having the best of anything (house, car, jewelry, clothes) even when others are relegated to lesser facilities, amenities, or clothing.

Doesn’t seem to listen well to needs of others; communication is usually one-way, in the form of dictates.

Haughtiness, grandiosity, and the need to be controlling is part of his personality.

Behaves as though people are objects to be used, manipulated or exploited for personal gain.

When criticized he tends to lash out not just with anger but with rage.

Anyone who criticizes or questions him is called an “enemy.”

Refers to non-members or non-believers as “the enemy.”

Acts imperious at times, not wishing to know what others think or desire.

Believes himself to be omnipotent.

Has “magical” answers or solutions to problems.

Is superficially charming.

Habitually puts down others as inferior; only he is superior.

Has a certain coldness or aloofness about him that makes others worry about who this person really is and or whether they really know him.

Is deeply offended when there are perceived signs of boredom, being ignored or of being slighted.

Treats others with contempt and arrogance.

Is constantly assessing people to determine those who are a threat or those who revere him.

The word “I” dominates his conversations. He is oblivious to how often he references himself.

Hates to be embarrassed or fail publicly; when he does he acts out with rage.

Doesn’t seem to feel guilty for anything he has done wrong nor does he apologize for his actions.

Believes he possesses the answers and solutions to world problems.

Believes himself to be a deity or a chosen representative of a deity.

"Rigid," "unbending," or "insensitive" describes how this person thinks.

Tries to control others in what they do, read, view, or think.

Has isolated members of his sect from contact with family or the outside world.

Monitors and/or restricts contact with family or outsiders.

Works the least but demands the most.

Has stated that he is “destined for greatness” or that he will be “martyred.”

Seems to be highly dependent on tribute and adoration and will often fish for compliments.

Uses enforcers or sycophants to ensure compliance from members or believers.

Sees self as “unstoppable” and perhaps has even said so.

Conceals background or family, which would disclose how plain or ordinary he is.

Doesn’t think there is anything wrong with himself and in fact sees himself as perfection or “blessed.”

Has taken away followers' freedom to leave, to travel, to pursue life and liberty.

Has isolated the group physically (moved to a remote area) so as to not be observed

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders

October 26, 2019

Postscript- So I wonder if he studied or if it just came to him naturally.

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Sometimes heroes walk among us.

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I forgot about this... Frankenweenie is a really great movie!

Karen O- Strange Love 

https://youtu.be/-is1Teh1Q94

October 26, 2019

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The Onion- Study Finds Fewer Americans Than Ever Believe In Snoopy

“Of course, many in this nation still express faith that Charlie Brown had a pet beagle of some kind and that there are real allegorical lessons to be learned from his battles with the Red Baron—after all, this is still a Peanuts nation we’re talking about.”

https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-fewer-americans-than-ever-believe-in-snoopy-1839328096

October 26, 2019

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"Weird Al" Yankovic- Bob

Forgot this gem existed!!

I, man, am Regal, a German am I

Never odd or even

If I had a Hi-Fi

Madam, I'm Adam

Too hot to hoot

No lemons no melon

Too bad I hid a boot

Lisa Bonet ate no basil

Warsaw was raw

Was it a car or a cat I saw?

Rise to vote, sir

Do geese see God?

Do nine men Interpret? Nine men I nod

Rats live on no evil star

Won't lovers revolt now?

Race fast safe car

Pa's a sap

Ma is as selfless as I am

May a moody baby doom a yam

Ah Satan sees Natasha

No devil lived on

Lonely Tylenol

Not a banana baton

No X in Nixon

O stone, be not so

O Geronimo, no minor ego

"Naomi" I moan

A Toyota's a Toyota

A dog, a panic, in a pagoda

Oh no, Don Ho

Nurse, I spy gypsies, run!

Senile felines

Now I see bees, I won

UFO tofu

We panic in a pew

Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo

God, a red nugget, a fat egg under a dog

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

https://youtu.be/JUQDzj6R3p4

October 26, 2020

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As if a pumpkin sleigh being pulled by a team of rats weren't enough... that looks on the cat's face, jeez, the horror.

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Oh no, Mort Sahl died today... the person responsible for bringing real politics to the world of biting comedy. Where would we be without him? No Jon Stewart, that's for sure.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/26/arts/television/mort-sahl-dead.amp.html

October 26, 2021

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Hillary Rodham Clinton, from 'Women's Rights Are Human Rights' Speech Beijing, China: 5 September 1995

It is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food, or drowned, or suffocated, or their spines broken, simply because they are born girls.

It is a violation of human rights when women and girls are sold into the slavery of prostitution.

It is a violation of human rights when women are doused with gasoline, set on fire and burned to death because their marriage dowries are deemed too small.

It is a violation of human rights when individual women are raped in their own communities and when thousands of women are subjected to rape as a tactic or prize of war.

It is a violation of human rights when a leading cause of death worldwide among women ages 14 to 44 is the violence they are subjected to in their own homes.

It is a violation of human rights when young girls are brutalized by the painful and degrading practice of genital mutilation.

It is a violation of human rights when women are denied the right to plan their own families, and that includes being forced to have abortions or being sterilized against their will.

If there is one message that echoes forth from this conference, it is that human rights are women's rights - and women's rights are human rights. Let us not forget that among those rights are the right to speak freely - and the right to be heard.

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The 2020 World Scrabble championship decided to disallow using the N-word and other slurs, a position supported by a higher percentage of white people than black people. My position is that words are words, whether they are bad words or whether they are good words, and they should all be allowed. (Again, remember that my position is supported by a higher number of black people than white people, if that's the type of thing that matters to you.)

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Craig Kimbrel- "I booed myself after those two games as well."

I love it. I hope they have him back for 2024.

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Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (on Hogan's theme music): "That's my second favorite song."

Gorilla Minsoon: "I'm almost afraid to ask...what's your favorite?"

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: "All the rest are tied."

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Seneca- "No man was ever made wise by chance."

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Elizabeth Cady Stanton again- "Truth is the only safe ground to stand on."

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Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha- "We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps."

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MacFarlane again- "If you literally believe the story of Noah, try getting a monkey in a car during a storm. It's almost impossible. Now do it one more time."

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Nietzsche- "A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all."

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Oscar Wilde

What of Art?

-It is a malady.

--Love?

-An Illusion.

--Religion?

-The fashionable substitute for Belief.

--You are a sceptic.

-Never! Scepticism is the beginning of Faith.

--What are you?

-To define is to limit.

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Norm Macdonald- "I feel bad for the homeless guy, but I feel really bad the homeless guy's dog, because he must be thinking 'Man, this is the longest walk ever."

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