Some Lessons I Learned In Pursuit of The Truth
This doctor's office coffee reminds me of the disney propaganda film where Donald Duck lives under Naziism and makes his coffee by dipping his one hidden coffee bean in water.
August 21, 2012
Postscript: From Der Fuhrer's Face, excellent short.
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Zuzu has some advice: "Everybody rock and roll oh yeah."
August 21, 2021
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Hahaha, Trump is the 2nd coming of Jesus, huh? I called this back in 2015 when I couldn't decide who I wanted to get the nomination more... Trump or Cruz. I decided I wanted Cruz to get it because at least he was only a religious fanatic. Trump obviously thought that he WAS God.
August 21, 2019
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The first of the Lincoln–Douglas debates was held in Ottawa, Illinois on this day in 1858.
Lincoln: "It is the eternal struggle between these two principles — right and wrong — throughout the world. They are the two principles that have stood face to face from the beginning of time; and will ever continue to struggle. The one is the common right of humanity, and the other the divine right of kings. It is the same principle in whatever shape it develops itself. It is the same spirit that says, "You toil and work and earn bread, and I'll eat it." No matter in what shape it comes, whether from the mouth of a king who seeks to bestride the people of his own nation and live by the fruit of their labor, or from one race of men as an apology for enslaving another race, it is the same tyrannical principle."
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Gandhi- "Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth."
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Plato- “He who does not desire power is fit to hold it.”
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"Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times." - Graffiti seen in New York
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Nihilist Memes:
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Well you know what the Bible says about witches right? Exodus 22:18- Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Seems harsh!
August 21, 2018
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Occasionally I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to post something that will get a lot of likes with the plan of editing it afterward to say something like, "Click 'like' if you think Hitler's birthday should be a national holiday."
August 21, 2014
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I sure picked up a couple of dirtbags last night!
Let me rephrase that.
At Home Depot last night, I bought two bags of topsoil.
August 21, 2022
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One of my favorite jokes.
Mitch Hedberg- “I write jokes for a living, I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.”
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Earlier tonight I nominated some rice to a boiling pot of water challenge. It accepted and I donated it to my belly.
August 21, 2014
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What puts the ape in apricot? The Cowardly Lion says it's courage. And they say the Scarecrow was the one with no brains???
August 21, 2014
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Forget the future and forget the past, the nows are the best.
August 21, 2011
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I think it's time the fine art people admit that the painting in the opening credits of Family Ties is a masterpiece.
It's important to remember that the opening credits of Family Ties contains a heart-warming shot of Alex on a meth high.
Steven Keaton's explanation to Jennifer as to why her Atlantic City hotel room had a mirror on the ceiling was slaphappy at best.
I'm about as old as Michael Gross was during filming of the third season of Family Ties.
What in the hell do Alex and Mallory have against Bob Dylan???
August 21, 2011
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If the Libyan rebels choose something other than plutocracy, maybe we can take some pointers.
August 21, 2011
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Just got back from K-Mart. Has anybody ever coined the term "comedy of horrors?" When those people look at themselves in the mirror in the morning how do they know whether to laugh or cry? (Luckily I don't have to face that question myself because I don't look at myself in the morning.)
August 21, 2010
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Pueblo Indians captured Santa Fe from the Spanish during the Pueblo Revolt of 1680.
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On this day in 1879, the locals of Knock, Ireland reported an apparition of the Virgin Mary. The apparition was later named “Our Lady of Knock” and the spot transformed into a Catholic pilgrimage site. Haha.
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The Mona Lisa was stolen by Louvre employee, Vincenzo Peruggia, on this day in 1911. Again, people getting away with stuff like this makes my knees weak. My mirror neurons can't help but fire and feel what they must have felt in that moment. Then they fire again when I imagine what they felt the moment they were caught. Maybe that's part of why the DB Cooper case has so much allure.
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Patty McCormack who played Rhoda Penmark in The Bad Seed was born on this day in 1945.
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Wilt Chamberlain joined us on this day in 1936, a month or so after Jesse Owens defeated the Nazis. His 100-point game, one of the greatest feats in the history of sports.
"Nobody roots for Goliath."
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Joe Strummer joined us on this day in 1952, with The Wild Side of Life by Hank Thompson at the top of the country charts.
"It is fun to be alive. It's a hell of a lot better than being dead."
Here his is prior to The Clash, working as a part-time grave digger.
He died at 50, and would have been 70 today.
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Don Everly left us on this day in 2021. Bye Bye Everly Brothers, among the greatest of all-time.
https://youtu.be/GrASk66FNGo
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Sprinter, Usain Bolt, was born on this day in 1986.
"I'd like to say to all my fans out there, thanks for the support. And to all my doubters, thank you very much because you guys have also pushed me."
People doubting me as always pushed me too.
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True genius, and comedian, Bo Burnham, was born on this day in 1990. Did I mention he's also a poet?
"I Fuck Sluts"
Sluts, sluts, I fuck sluts.
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No "ifs", "ands" and/or "buts". I fuck sluts.
I fuck sluts. Nice girls are nice but no good for nut-sucking,
They'll need a serene night to green-light a butt fucking,
But that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise be to slut fucking!
I have a list. A list? Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed.
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list.
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut-sucking,
Suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list.
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond.
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones.
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash.
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart.
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart.
They can talk about science, music, or art.
They can put you together or they can pull you apart.
But don't trust these sluts, don't, don't you dare.
They'll force you to trust them and love them and care.
And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware
Of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.
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Catalogue of hobo symbols, just in case things go south:
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Can't shake this song... Sinead O'Connor- I'll Tell Me Ma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq4moQ4H80E
August 21, 2015
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The Creepiest Things Kids Have Ever Said To Their Parents
My son always says odd things. Usually they're funny but this one threw me for a loop.
He is 8. I was telling him how much I love him and thanks for being in my life. He said. I didn't choose this life. I couldn't control how it began. But I can control how it ends.
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My 6-year-old nephew told my brother that everyone on Earth was a figment of "Jonah's" imagination and that when "Jonah" wakes up, we'll all disappear. When asked who Jonah is, he replied VERBATIM: "He's the one who sleeps. The dreamer in the dream." Made my skin crawl the first time he told me.
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Louis CK isn't afraid to start a show by reminding everybody that they're one day going to be dead.
https://youtube.com/shorts/_gTTICYl4As
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William Blake, Auguries of Innocence:
To see a World in a grain of sand,
And a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.
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H.P. Lovecraft, Supernatural Horror in Literature- "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
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Steve Martin- "First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
Addendum
The Journey Is Short.
An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young lady climbed up and sat down beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.
When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags?
The elderly woman replied with a smile: “There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as our journey together is so short, because I am going to get off at the next stop.”
This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: “There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short.”
Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short. That darkening it with useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontentment and bad attitudes are a ridiculous waste of time and energy.
Did someone break your heart? Stay calm. The trip is too short
Did someone betray, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? Relax. Don’t stress. The trip is too short.
Did someone insult you without reason? Shake it off. Ignore it. The trip is too short.
Did a neighbor make a comment that you didn’t like? Take a deep breath. Ignore him/her. Forgive and forget it. The trip is too short.
Whatever problem someone has brought us, remember that our journey together is too short.
No one knows the length of our trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is short.
Let us appreciate friends and family. Let us be respectful, kind and forgiving. In return, we will be filled with gratitude and joy. After all, our trip together is very short.
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