Fresh Hell, and Varieties of Heaven
We lost the philosopher, psychologist, and historian William James on this day in 1910.
"A great nation is not saved by wars, it is saved by acts without external picturesqueness; by speaking, writing, voting reasonably; by smiting corruption swiftly; by good temper between parties; by the people knowing true men when they see them, and preferring them as leaders to rabid partisans and empty quacks."
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Director Tobe Hooper left us on this day in 2017.
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There was a Breitbart article condemning Clinton because Epstein's girlfriend's nephew worked in her State Department. I pointed out that Trump himself is in 100 pics with her and wished her well AFTER her arrest, multiple times.
This one person was certain I was making it up. I kept pressing her, asking if I did produce evidence, would she admit he's an awful person? She would only tell me over and over that I was obviously lying.
I gave her the evidence of him wishing her well, which happened to be video of him saying, "I wish her well." You know what she said? She said I was grasping at straws! Again... after giving her proof that he said exactly what I said that he said.
Tune in again tomorrow for the next episode of, "You Might Have Joined a Cult If..."
August 26, 2020
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I was following a car into work that had two bumper stickers. The one on the left said "WWPD" and had a picture of Picard. The one on the right said, "MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MOM." So I guess he thinks Picard would put a "MY OTHER RIDE IS YOUR MOM" bumper sticker on the Enterprise.
August 26, 2020
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I woke up with a shock this morning... my 110 gallon fish tank had sprung a leak and about 10 gallons had leaked out. I was dealing with that all morning, wrenched my back baling water out my window, and had to leave before I even made coffee. In the car I realized that although it was a bummer, it could have been much worse, and even though I didn't have any coffee I would certainly find some at some point during the day. At that point I turned on my audiobook, which I just then realized happens to be about gratitude... the author takes a year or so to personally thank the thousand or so people most responsible for his morning cup of coffee... the barista, the chain owner, the farmers, the people who designed the lid, etc. Strange how closely the book mirrored my mindset.
August 26, 2019
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First day of kindergarten for this one.
August 26, 2019
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McCain- "I have served this country 60 years and it's not been perfect service, there have been times that the country could have benefited from a little less of my help."
I think I know what, or rather who, he was talking about.
August 26, 2018
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Gretel didn't want to carry the watermelon bowl into the living room because it was too heavy, but she hadn't even tried to carry it. I told her that it was okay if she couldn't do it but that she at least had to try. That would have been the worst advice Yoda ever heard- try or try not, even if you don't do.
August 26, 2016
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Don't get this perspective too often...front row behind the Phillies dugout.
August 26, 2014
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A get an Achilles tendon from a dead person put in my knee on Wednesday. Going forward how will I answer those questionnaires that ask about race and religion? Or gender! Can I answer with percentages?
August 26, 2012
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Pather Panchali was released in Calcutta, India on this date in 1955.
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Mother Teresa was born on the same day. Hitchens said she wasn't a friend of the poor, she was a friend of poverty.
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Hitchens- "Love your enemies: there's another immoral injunction. Go love your own enemies, don't be loving mine. My enemies are the theocratic fascists. I don't love them, I want to destroy them."
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Director, Barbet Schroeder, was born on this day in 1941. I love The Bukowski Tapes. Bukowski:
Now, all the hype and the propaganda is to say
Elizabeth Taylor is a great, beautiful woman.
She's the most wonderful creature of all-time.
Now, all the hype, all the media has been told to do this and they're doing it.
All of a sudden I read the papers and I think
God! She must be some kind of super goddess.
All these films I saw her in were really crappy except the one,
you know, 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?'
Oh, I read on that. Oh, I missed something.
Then,
there's even a quote from J.D. Salinger.
"She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
And, you know when I was a kid,
and I'm 61,
when I saw her as a kid...
now this, okay, I did.
I thought that woman is really ugly. Her face is ugly.
Her eyes are ugly, her mouth is ugly.
And I always thought, Elizabeth Taylor is one of the most ugly women I've ever seen.
She had the most portentous, evil,
grabbing, gross...
She exemplifies the, the...
female creature grabbing for everything
because her lips are formed a little bit like that.
Her eyebrows are a little bit like that, her eyes are a little bit like that,
and her hair is a little bit like that.
That has nothing to do with beauty.
That has things to do with the mada- mathematical equation of where
the chin should be and the ears should be.
Beauty is nothing.
It's an idea of something.
The gods don't give beauty.
The gods don't give beauty.
There's no idea of physical beauty.
So she's a stupid woman.
Oh my god, it makes me sick.
I'm sorry.
And she can sue me for saying it.
I'll stand on it.
Get and put it right on in
I said what I said.
I will Elizabeth Taylor you are an ugly woman.
And we will go into the courts to prove whether you are ugly or beautiful.
The judges will say you are beautiful.
But the gods of everywhere,
beyond this place will know
that you are not beautiful.
You just, ears were formed in certain way.
Your mouth was formed a certain way.
Your eyes were formed a certain way.
But you are not beautiful, Elizabeth Taylor.
You are hardly anything.
This is beautiful.
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But...
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Hitchens would like this William James quote. Bukowski too.
“The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour."
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Chris Pine was born on this day in 1980. If you are a Scrabble enthusiast like me, any time you see his name, you think, "rich penis."
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Macaulay Culkin was born on this day in 1980. Here he is wearing a shirt of Ryan Gosling wearing a Macaulay Culkin shirt.
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John Mulaney was born on this day in 1982. What that guy does is magic. The first time I heard the joke about him drinking the perfume, I laughed until I cried.
"In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin."
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Gail Russell left us on this day in 1961 at the age of 36, due to alcohol use to mask her shyness. Someone referred to her "melancholic and angelic eyes, of rare beauty."
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Nazi sympathizer Charles Lindbergh died on this day in 1974, when I was a six month old baby. Apparently he used to fly some airplanes around too.
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Neil Simon left us on this day in 2018.
"I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."
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I got an email from some local sugar warehouse today saying that they were interested in me managing it. I shared it with my boss immediately and said I have three questions for the interview. First, do I have to tuck in? Second, what's their policy on joking about Hitler? Third, should I show myself the door?
August 26, 2022
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Crass- Big A Little A
Just as good as ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIdcDL64KCE
August 26, 2012
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The Onion- Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare.
I'm sorry people, but I just can't help but repost this. Why? Because that might be the funniest sentence in the history of the English language- "Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare." It might be the joke the army was reciting in that one Monty Python sketch where the other side died of laughter.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/jimmy-oblain-82-died-quietly-last-night-in-his-sle,27686/
August 26, 2012
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McSweeney's- 20 FUN BABY NAMES THAT ARE ALSO PALINDROMES
Solid list.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/20-fun-baby-names-that-are-also-palindromes
August 26, 2017
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The Onion- Crowd Roars In Approval As Makeup-Smeared Trump Begs Rally To Tell Him He’s Beautiful
And they say this president is beyond satirization.
https://politics.theonion.com/crowd-roars-in-approval-as-makeup-smeared-trump-begs-ra-1837481538
August 26, 2019
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Cancel Me is a simply perfect name for John Cleese's show.
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/aug/24/cancel-me-john-cleese-to-present-channel-4-show-on-woke-thought
August 26, 2021
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Dorothy Parker- "What fresh hell is this?"
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H.P. Lovecraft- "Religion is still useful among the herd - that it helps their orderly conduct as nothing else could. The crude human animal is in-eradicably superstitious, and there is every biological reason why they should be. Take away his Christian god and saints, and he will worship something else..."
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Howard Zinn- "History is important. If you don't know history it is as if you were born yesterday. And if you were born yesterday, anybody up there in a position of power can tell you anything, and you have no way of checking up on it."
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Stephen Fry- "You are who you are when nobody's watching."
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Truman Capote- "Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."
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William James- "The aim of a college education is to teach you to know a good man when you see one."
Or a bad one.
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Nietzsche- “Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?”
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Mulaney again- "I had a producer tell me I couldn't use the word midget because it was 'worse than the n-word.' First off...no, it's not. If you're comparing the badness of two words and you won't even say one of them, that's the worse word."
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Steve Martin- "A triangle with four points is what Euclid rides into hell."
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Neil Simon again- "Don't listen to those who say, you are taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head and says "They are all smarter than you out there. They're more talented, they're taller, blonder, prettier, luckier, and they have connections." I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you'll be a person worthy of your own respects."
Isn't that the main thing, to live a life so that you're worthy of your own respect?
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