Surprise Me
Every once in a while I like to remind all of you that we have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.
It runs in our genes.
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10 Short Rules For a Better Life, From the Stoics
10. Memento Mori"You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you say and do and think." -Marcus Aurelius
Maybe the most important lesson! Thank you Stoics.
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Some people want to abolish the police. Sure, they have their problems but I actually prefer them to the roving mobs of murderers and rapists that we'd have without them! One thing everybody can agree with- a few bad apples is preferable to a greater number of bad apples.
"The police" get a bad rap on somebody gets killed, but "the cop" should get the bad rap.
There are 330 million of us. Face it. Bad stuff is going to happen, because we are humans.
Same with illegal immigrants. Sometimes they murder somebody. Humans occasionally murder somebody. It doesn't mean they are all bad. They actually commit less crime than immigrants, or ancestors of immigrants. Why do you think that illegal immigrants would commit less crime? Because they don't want to get caught!
There was a town in Canada in the 70s or '80s that wasn't going to pay their police enough, so the police said they were going to go on strike. Well the police went on strike, and do you want to guess what happened? You got it, chaos.
When some cop somewhere does something stupid, yes, we should all be mad. But someone's breaking into our house, or wants to murder us, we all call the cops, and we're glad they're there.
If you still aren't convinced, how about this? It's the best thing that the cops do. When some cop does something bad, another cop arrests them. And I'm glad to do it, because I don't want to!
July 27, 2024
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I just started watching a 2013 documentary on Philip Roth. As I googled him to confirm he had died, the biography started with him stating that he has two calamities left in life- his death, and a biography- and that he hoped his death would come first. He died in 2018.
July 27, 2021
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Zowie, the Daniel Johnston cover to end all Daniel Johnston covers: Lucius- Walking the Cow.
https://fb.watch/m2SWcofQyD
July 27, 2021
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My eye doctor just asked me if I had seen Dr. Muller the previous time, and then he clarified for me, "the lady doctor."
July 27, 2019
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Democrats are too focused on disagreements they have with Trump, and not focused enough on the fact that he's a lunatic.
July 27, 2016
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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
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Emma got back from the gym the other night and said that she stopped at Aldo. I couldn't resist the urge to make her feel like a dumbass and asked if Aldo was anywhere close to Aldi. She made me feel like an even bigger dumbass by pointing out the joke I should have said, "You should have just asked, "Where's Aldo?""
July 27, 2015
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The wind on Neptune is so fast it breaks the sound barrier. What is the sound then on Neptune, ancient wind?
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When I have online debates I'm going to end every post with a reaso-con, the emotionless emoticon, just so everyone knows I'm making an emotionless argument. : l
July 27, 2014
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Oops, I forgot to watch C-SPAN for like 5 years and all of the hosts got old.
July 27, 2014
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A long-time Scrabble buddy just played BUXOMEST on a triple-word using blanks for the B and the M. Zowie!
July 27, 2013
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The Battle of Visby was fought on this day on this day in 1361. The dead were buried in their armor in mass graves. At least 1800 people died. The excavation site "yielded one of the most fearsome revelations of a medieval battle known to archaeologists".
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Bugs Bunny was born on this day in 1940, a giant stride toward normalizing transvestisism. Is that still a word?
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Norm Augustine join us on this day in 1935.
"Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation."
As Secretary of the army from 1975 to 1977, I think you would have some things that obfuscation.
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Swedish physician, Hans Rosling, was born on this day in 1948.
“Human beings have a strong dramatic instinct toward binary thinking, a basic urge to divide things into two distinct groups, with nothing but an empty gap in between. We love to dichotomize. Good versus bad. Heroes versus villains. My country versus the rest. Dividing the world into two distinct sides is simple and intuitive, and also dramatic because it implies conflict, and we do it without thinking, all the time.”
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Norman Lear turns 100 today, born in 1922. He created the modern sitcom. He authored a fantastic op-ed today in the New York Times comparing Archie Bunker to Donald Trump. (Key difference, Archie loved his country.)
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/27/opinion/archie-bunker-donald-trump-norman-lear.html
"For all his faults, Archie loved his country and he loved his family, even when they called him out on his ignorance and bigotries. If Archie had been around 50 years later, he probably would have watched Fox News. He probably would have been a Trump voter. But I think that the sight of the American flag being used to attack Capitol Police would have sickened him. I hope that the resolve shown by Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, and their commitment to exposing the truth, would have won his respect."
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On this day in 1974, the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee voted 27 to 11 to recommend the first article of impeachment (for obstruction of justice) against President Richard Nixon.
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Another notable birthday- Johann Bernoulli (1667)
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Other notable deathdays- Gertrude Stein (1946), William Wyler (1981), James Mason (1984)
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Mark Twain- "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
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Vincent van Gogh shot himself on this day in 1890, dying two days later.
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Brando on Marilyn Monroe- "Lost. She was always lost. Her ambition could allow her to achieve, but then she would sit with her prize in her lap and not know what to do with it, so she would toss it aside and look for a new goal, a new lover, a new book or teacher who would change her life and her mind and her focus. Sometimes you pull the refrigerator out and you find all these toys that your cat has secreted there or pushed there, and they lie in the dust, a little shine still left. It's sort of how she lived her life, and sort of how I loved mine for a time. Lost and running."
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I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish. (Sorry.)
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One More Day, Mickey Shaughnessy, from Jailhouse Rock
https://youtu.be/oB9YAVEqWrY
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McSweeney's- WE CAN’T IMPEACH ONE OF THE MOST UNPOPULAR AND CORRUPT PRESIDENTS EVER AND RISK ALIENATING THE RACIST VOTERS WHO’D NEVER VOTE FOR US ANYWAY
by BOB VULFOV
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-cant-impeach-one-of-the-most-unpopular-and-corrupt-presidents-ever-and-risk-alienating-the-racist-voters-whod-never-vote-for-us-anyway
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Emma- "Just hangin' out watching the Democratic Convention."
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This little monkey-faced baby is asleep on my lap and I can't move without waking her up. Anybody want to talk about anything while I'm immobile?
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John Fuselsang- Donald Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani is on TV saying we can't trust Donald Trump's other lawyer because Donald Trump hires terrible liars to be his lawyer.
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Heidegger said that with every choice we make, we cut ourselves off from an entire other lifetime. This is something we have to accept. We don't have time to do everything and never will.
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Message sent by Vicomte Turenne after the 1658 Battle of Dunen:
"The enemy came. He was beaten. I am tired. Good night."
Vicomte Turenne left us on this day in 1675.
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Bob Hope died at 100 years old on this day in 2003. I don't find him funny, but only the smallest handful of comedians are still laugh-out-loud funny decades after their heyday.
Bob Hope did say at least one funny thing that transcends time though. Apparently it was his last words. His wife Dolores asked him where he wanted to be buried, and he said, "Surprise me."
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I received some upper-echelon compliments while playing racquetball tonight. After a nice shot in one game my opponent said, "Oh fuck you, Ben," and in a later game a different opponent said, "Screwww you," then paused, then added, "you son of a bitch." Good guys. It doesn't get better than that.
July 27, 2023
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When tens of thousands of people booed her at the Bob Dylan tribute, Kris Kristofferson was supposed to go take her off stage. He told them to forget it, went up on stage and whispered to her, "Don't let the bastards get you down." He later wrote this song about her.
(Those booing were probably the progeny of those who booed Bob Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival.)
Kris Kristofferson, "Sister Sinead"
“I'm singing this song for my sister, Sinead
Concerning the god awful mess that she made
She told them her truth just as hard as she could
Her message profoundly was misunderstood
There's humans entrusted with guarding our gold
And humans in charge of the saving of souls
And humans responded all over the world
Condemning that bald headed brave little girl
And maybe she's crazy and maybe she ain't
But so was Picasso and so were the saints
And she's never been partial to shackles or chains
She's too old for breaking and too young to tame
It's askin' for trouble to stick out your neck
In terms of a target a big silhouette
But some candles flicker and some candles fade
And some burn as true as my sister, Sinead”
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Stanley Kubrick- "I think the big mistake in schools is trying to teach children anything, and by using fear as the basic motivation. Fear of getting failing grades, fear of not staying with your class, etc. Interest can produce learning on a scale compared to fear as a nuclear explosion to a firecracker."
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Buddha- "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
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