Mmm, Fudge Factory

Chungking Express Day

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A rock thrown through a car window was inscribed, "GOD IS GOOD."

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Charles McCabe- "McCabe's Law- Nobody has to do anything."

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Leon just sent me this panorama picture he took of me climbing around the side of a mesa in the Badlands. I forgot this picture existed. I think about that moment often. One slip in my sneakers and I was doomed.

Fun fact, about 10 minutes after this picture was taken I pulled Leon out of quicksand.

Another fun fact, he said it took him 5 minutes to convince his daughter that this was not a still from a movie.

May 1, 2023

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Well Zuzu must have learned something in the Secret Up Room School... she just said, "I know why Han Solo is being mean. It's because he only thinks about himself." Meanwhile Gretel is genuinely disturbed by everyone in Star Wars getting their arms chopped off.

May 1, 2020

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The president called Kim Jung Un "one smart cookie," and said it would be an honor to meet him. Take that Kim Jung Un! You're on the ropes now!

May 1, 2020

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Gretel just asked for milk and then switched her request to lemonade. I asked if she wanted to turn around the corner where the fudge is made. She stared blankly and said yeah. That does sound good when you take a step back.

May 1, 2017

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Those front lawn free libraries that look like Snoopy's house... I looked in one today, so sad. All the good books must have been taken and replaced with 1970's reader's digests, religious books, outdated self help nonsense, basically pick a two foot section of any Salvation Army book shelf and you'll know what I mean. Maybe I'll make it my mission to replace the crappy books with my good books that I know I'll never read again...

May 1, 2016

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Osama bin Laden is dead. My cats could care less. We have his body, what do we do with it? The "USA, USA" chants at the Phillies game remind me we're still doomed. (As if I forgot.) Why do I have the feeling that every mall in America is going to explode tomorrow? Now let's go after others who killed lots of people!

May 1, 2011

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Hu's at bat.

May 1, 2020 (watching baseball )

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The royal couple has asked the media to respect their privacy. It turns out the media didn't fall for their ruse of being unbearably boring.

May 1, 2011

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Reflecting on that post now, puts me in mind of my new favorite limerick:

Nymphomaniacal Alice 

Used to dynamite stick for a phallus. 

They found her vagina 

In North Carolina, 

And her asshole in Buckingham Palace.

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From this day in 2011:

NEWSFLASH: The sun and the planets DO go around the earth, just in a very complicated way.

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Citizen Kane was released on this day in 1941.

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On this day in 1956, the polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk was made available to the public. Nearly 50% of the population thought it was more likely to kill you then cure polio. Just kidding. We cured polio.

Johnny Cash's I Walk the Line was released the same day.

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On this day in 1961, Fidel Castro proclaimed Cuba a socialist nation and abolishes elections. Perhaps leaders should rule at the will of the people.

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On this day in 1991, Nolan Ryan's 7th no-hitter. His warm up was terrible and he thought he was going to be pulled, and not only that, he thought it was going to be his last game ever.

Tom House- "He went to that zone where all the superstars go. The quantitative definition of the zone, is when thinking is inversely proportionate to the stimulus in the environment. So in those high octane, no-hitter situations, when the crowd's going nuts, all this chaos is going on, you know what his world is like? (He impersonates a dial tone.) Pitch, glove, pitch, glove, nothing else exists."

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On this day in 2003, George Bush declared "mission accomplished," thus ruining the phrase until the end of time. You know one thing you can give George W. Bush credit for though? He believed in democracy. He might have believed in it a little bit too much though. How many Iraqis died after he tried to force it? 

And speaking of George W. Bush, was he ruling at the will of the people? The first time no, the second time yes.

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Frontierswoman and Custer compatriot, Calamity Jane, was born on this day in 1852. "The bigger a man's gun the smaller his doodlewick.” I wonder if her conclusion was the result of a scientific experiment, with notes, measurements, and I assume, Bunsen burners.

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Photographer Sally Mann, was born on this day in 1951. "Candy Cigarette", from 1989:

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Civil rights activist, Eldridge Cleaver, left us on this day in 1998.

"There is no calamity which a great nation can invite which equals that which follows a supine submission to wrong and injustice and the consequent loss of national self-respect and honor, beneath which are shielded and defended a people's safety and greatness."

Hero of the left. He also bragged about raping people.

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Wes Anderson was born on this day in 1969. I either love his films or I hate his films, and at one point I realized that the ones I love are all co-written with Owen Wilson, and the ones I hated were not. I could not stand The Darjeeling Limited, I almost left the theater. I did laugh at one line though... I looked it up after I was done watching the film and it turns out that although Owen Wilson didn't write the film, he did ad-lib that line! I'm not a fan of Wes Anderson I guess, I'm a fan of Owen Wilson's writing. And of course the cinematography. 

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On this day in 1945, Joseph Goebbels and his wife committed suicide after killing their six children. I can't help it, I know it's ridiculous, but that's one of the details of World War II that I really get hung up on. Why did they kill their kids??? Six million Jews died, and I get hung up on Goebbels' six kids.

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Former Mr. Universe, Steve Reeves, left us on this day in 2000. He was Mr. America in 1947, Mr. World in 1948, and Mr. Universe in 1950. Seems like he should have won Mr. Galaxy in 1949, or at least Mr. Solar System.

"I don't believe in bodybuilders using steroids. If a man doesn't have enough male hormones in his system to create, a nice hard, muscular body, he should take up ping pong."

I could have beat him at ping pong.

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The WWF's Miss Elizabeth left us on this day in 2003. It's been said that she had a face that launched a thousand drop kicks.

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Big Think headline today: "Microscopic Animals Revived, After 24,000 Years Frozen in Permafrost." I do believe what Steven Pinker says about everything improving, and yet we do still have headlines that sound like premises to horror films.

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Indywire list of the greatest cartoons of all time.

10. Animaniacs

9. Big Mouth

8. Bob's Burgers

7. Space Ghost

6. Steven Universe

5. Batman: The Animated Series

4. Daria

3. Archer

2. Simpsons

1. BoJack Horseman

Tonight I'm watching the last episode of BoJack Horseman. Please let it end on a good note!

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Please read David Foster Wallace's Kenyon commencement speech if you've ever pondered "how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line."

http://publicnoises.blogspot.com/2009/05/david-foster-wallace-kenyon.html

May 1, 2011

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The 2011 what else correspondence dinner speech by Seth Meyers.

Now with more reaction shots! (He did maybe 5 jokes that left Trump like that limbless knight from the Holy Grail.)

https://youtu.be/7YGITlxfT6s

May 1, 2011

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http://twitter.com/#!/shitgirlssay

I can't get enough of this! Somehow this guy's found 100's of things girls say that are so common they are even below cliches. Still waiting for Shit Guys Say... will it be as good?

May 1, 2011

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I wish these were real! In any case, #14 might be the best sign in the history of signs.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/somenorcalguy/20-best-aperature-laboratories-warning-signs-e6x

May 1, 2011

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Being Human

https://vimeo.com/163299832

A must watch, when you get a couple minutes.

May 1, 2016

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Quartz- The psychological importance of wasting time

https://qz.com/970924/the-psychological-importance-of-wasting-time/

May 1, 2017

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Taste of Cinema- 7 Reasons Why Dr. Strange love Is Still Relevant 

From the article:

At the end of the film, mutual destruction occurs and Vera Lynn’s song “We’ll Meet Again” plays as a montage of nuclear explosions occur. And if the song is a metaphor suggesting civilization will return, it’s no doubt that man will find a way to destroy the world once again.

The song is also relevant to our current political climate because once again we’re heading toward a new Cold War with Russia. As well, in the 21st century, tensions with North Korea are at an all-time high. With questionable leadership in countries possessing nuclear weapons, you can’t help but worry that the dire situation Kubrick satirized 50 years ago might become reality in our modern era.

http://www.tasteofcinema.com/2017/7-reasons-why-dr-strangelove-is-still-relevant-today/

May 1, 2017

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The Hill- Ex-doctor says Trump dictated letter claiming he would be ‘healthiest’ president ever

In case you haven't noticed, the wannabe emperor has no clothes. Sadly, I guess this means he won't be "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency."

http://hill.cm/3Uruwqa

May 1, 2018

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New York Times- Three Cheers for Cultural Appropriation

By Bari Weiss

Always like her articles.

"The point is that everything great and iconic about this country comes when seemingly disparate parts are blended in revelatory ways. That merging simply doesn’t happen in places where people are separated by race and ethnicity and class. And it’s not only what makes American culture so rich, but it is also a big part of the reason America is so successful. When we see a good idea, we steal it; when we have a good idea, the rest of the world is welcome to it as well."

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/30/opinion/cultural-appropriation.html

May 1, 2018

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Timeless classic, Pinky the Cat

https://youtu.be/okZW3_5Gr4s

May 1, 2021

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I cannot get Sia's Unstoppable out of my head.

https://youtu.be/YaEG2aWJnZ8

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There's no way to prove that God doesn't exist, and there's also no reason to believe that He does.

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Don Draper- "People want to be told what to do so badly, that they'll listen to anyone."

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Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story- "The plain truth is that Adam Eget is an alcoholic and that’s why he doesn’t drink. Me, I’m not an alcoholic and that’s why I do drink. Life sure is funny that way."

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Emerson- "Always do what you are afraid to do."

I only post that quote, because I don't like that quote.

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John Waters- "If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!"

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Einstein- "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

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Bruce Chatwin, Anatomy of Restlessness- "One rainy day in 1944 we were sheltering in the phone booth when an ugly old woman pressed her nose to the pain. "That woman," said my grandmother, "has the face of a bull's behind with no tail to hide it.""

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Roger Sterling- “You know, Mona had a dream once where I hit the dog with a car. She was mad at me all day, and I never hit the dog. We don’t even have a dog.”