The Gospel of St. Husserl
In the Gospel of Thomas Jesus said, "The Kingdom of the Father is spread out over the earth, and men do not see it."
Does it seem strange that I'm quoting the Bible? I'm not! The Gospel of Thomas was discovered in 1945 so it wasn't included in the Bible, although it was written only a hundred years or so after the death of Jesus. Too bad because it links Christianity and Eastern religions. Heaven is not elsewhere, it is here.
A powerful distinction.
It also links both types of religion with Belinda Carlisle. "Oh Heaven is a place on Earth."
So if you are ever having a shitty day, remember that it's a shitty day in Heaven, but don't take it from me. Consider taking it from Tung Kwo.
Master Tung Kwo asked Chuang:
"Where the Tao is found?"
Chuang Tzu replied:
"There is nowhere it is not to be found."
The former insisted:
"Show me at least some definite place
where Tao is found."
"It is in the ant." said Chuang.
"Is it in some lesser being?"
"It is in the weeds."
"Can you go further down the scale of things?"
"It is in this piece of tile."
"Further?"
"It is in this turd."
If that makes sense to you, you might be on the path to enlightenment. Or maybe this is evidence that religion is quite literally bullshit.
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Ricky Gervais- "Some people call me arrogant because I don't pray. But isn't praying the height of arrogance? God didn't stop the Holocaust, but he's going to help me find my keys?"
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Roger Sterling- “They make wine for Jews. And now they’re making one they want to sell to normal people.”
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Obama's going to give a $400k speech to Wall Street. Big deal, I would, and you would too! I'd ask Bernie Sanders to write mine. Anyone who refuses to give a speech to Wall Street, either paid or for free, is passing up a golden opportunity.
April 27, 2017
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Bertrand Russell- "In everything, power lies with those who control finance, not with those who know the matter upon which the money is to be spent. Thus the holders of power are, in general, ignorant and malevolent, and the less they exercise their power the better."
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Scooting to the park.
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Interesting day at work. An interviewee was scheduled for 10, but he didn't come in. My 11 o'clock interview was a no-show too. At noon a new employee was supposed to start. He didn't come in either! Neither did my 1 o'clock interview!!! My 2 o'clock interview knocked it out of the park, so I'll offer him the job. But if I hire him, will he show up???
April 27, 2015
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Assuming for a minute that ghosts are real, there could be a natural reason for their existence. This would mean they are not supernatural, not beyond nature. On the other hand, if our thoughts have no substance then they are beyond nature, so our thoughts are supernatural. So ghosts could be natural, but it's our belief (or disbelief) in them that seems to be supernatural.
April 27, 2014
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I shaved off my beard and now my 6-month old daughter hates my guts! She won't stop crying and she thinks I'm hideous! Maybe Leon Lutz at the Beard Tip Hotline can help. I tried taping on the old hair, and eating a ton of spaghetti but nothing's working. False beard made out of corn silk? I'm out of ideas.
April 27, 2014
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There's something about Turner Classic Movies that helps me understand my place in the world. I can sum it up something like this: alive, not yet dead.
April 27, 2012
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Bumper Sticker Idea: LISTEN TO YOUR COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
April 27,2011
Postscript- I ended up making that bumper sticker, and I've had it on my car for several years now!
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Did you hear on NPR that a stumbling block in Pope John Paul's path to sainthood concerns the miracle of a nun praying to him and her Parkinson's being cured?
Detractors say it might be coming back, and others say that maybe she didn't have it begin with.
Nobody mentioned the obvious- if she improved, it could have been a coincidence.
April 27, 2011
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Wikipedia tells us that on this day in 1667, blind and impoverished, John Milton sold Paradise Lost to a printer for £10, so that it could be copywrited through the Stationers' Register.
From Paradise Lost- "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."
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Our greatest president, Abraham Lincoln, suspended the writ of habeas corpus on this day in 1861, allowing the government to hold people indefinitely without charges. Desperate times! What are you going to do when half of the country wants to overthrow the other half? He was acting like a king, not a president, but would have any of us done differently? He might have been Plato's idea of the philosopher-king.
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Tragedy on this day in 1865- in the wake of the Lincoln Assassination and the nationwide hunt for Booth, the Sultana sank on the Mississippi River, killing 1800 union former POW's. Three of four boilers exploded, boiling many alive. Many others jumped overboard but we're too weak to swim.
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Philosopher and progenitor of modern day feminism, Mary Wollstonecraft, was born on this day in 1759.
"I do not wish them [women] to have power over men; but over themselves."
"All the sacred rights of humanity are violated by insisting on blind obedience."
"Strengthen the female mind by enlarging it, and there will be an end to blind obedience."
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Paradise Lost again- "Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven."
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Samuel Morse was -... --- .-. -. on this day in 1791. He was a painter and inventor, the co-invented the Morse code.
"Science and art are not opposed."
Reminds me of Rick and Morty.
Rick- “Sometimes science is more art than science.”
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Lincoln's General of the Army, and 18th president of the United States in his own right, Ulysses S. Grant, was born on this day in 1822.
"I have never advocated war except as a means of peace."
There's a time in my life I would have scoffed at that quote. George Carlin would have scoffed it for his whole life. (He said that going to war to preserve peace is like fucking for virginity.) The Civil War was violent, no doubt, I'm not sure if you heard. But so was slavery, and without the Civil War I guess it would still be around. So yes, the Civil War was violent, but it also ended violence. World War II was violent, but it also ended violence. Vietnam was violent, but it... well it was just violent. Vietnam cost a whole generation, and more, to forget that there were just wars.
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Arguably the greatest right-handed hitter of all time, Rogers Hornsby, was born on this day in 1896.
"I don't like to sound egotistical, but every time I stepped up to the plate with a bat in my hands, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the pitcher."
That's a quote that everybody could adapt to their own life in some way.
"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."
Now that's a garbage lesson, but you can't help but love the passion.
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Enos Slaughter was born on this day in 1916, a year after D.W. Griffith glorified the KKK in birth of a nation. He has a lot of impressive baseball stats, but will forever be remembered as a leader in the racial taunting of Jackie Robinson. He had no internal consistency, never asked himself the question Red Barber asked. What would I believe if I were born black? Enos slaughter was not a truth-seeker.
-Fun fact, in writing this blurb my voice-to-text mistook "Enos Slaughter" first for "Anus Slaughter," and next for "Penis Slaughter." Enos... Is there a worse first name? It doesn't really help that it's followed by the horrific surname, "Slaughter." But who knows, maybe if we were born with his name we would be an asshole too.
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"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect." -Mark Twain
Or as George Carlin said, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
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Activist, author, and wife of Martin Luther King Jr, Coretta Scott King was born on this day in 1927.
"Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated."
An almost Jesus-like quote, as if it were for Enos Slaughter.
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"Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart."
-Ferdinand Magellan, explaining the worldview that got him killed on this day in 1521, at 41 years old.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson left us on this day in 1882.
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
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From TIME, September 1, 1967. Sandy Dennis: The Star in the $7 Dress.
“At an unpretentious restaurant in Manhattan’s theater district, an unpretentious woman tucked a napkin in her dress and wolfed a hamburger lunch. Not that the dress was worth protecting; it was just another tent. After finishing, she wiped the napkin across her mouth. No need to freshen her lipstick; she wore no makeup. Then she strode out in her beat-up pumps—and as if on cue, heads turned, cars slowed, and a sailor rushed up at flank speed. ‘You’re in the movies, aren’t you?’ he asked. ‘But I can’t remember your name.’ Said she: ‘Who, me? You must be kidding.’”
She was born on this day in 1937.
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Antonio Gramsci left us on the same day. Wikipedia lists him as an Italian philosopher, journalist, linguist, writer, politician, and Marxist.
"The old world is dying.
And the new world struggles
to be born. Now is the
time of monsters."
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Edward R. Murrow left us on this day in 1965, as he was poised to become the voice of his generation once again in the '60s upheaval. Before Vietnam heated up, he had this observation on it:
"Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation."
Not sure if you're a history buff, but it got a lot more confusing after that.
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Philosopher of phenomenology, Edmund Husserl, died on this in 1938.
"I had to philosophize. Otherwise, I could not live in this world."
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